Dear Neil: Can you tell me how my husband and I can become soul mates? Ready in Toronto Dear Ready: Following are the essential ingredients needed for two people to become—and stay—soul mates. These ideas were stimulated by Daphne Rose Kingma’s book “The Future Of Love” (Doubleday). Honesty. Each time we tell the truth we become […]
Working Through Conflict More Effectively
The following exercises are designed to help couples work through conflict more effectively. If your relationship is beset with conflicts which occasionally spin out of control, then try learning these relationship skills. HIDDEN MESSAGES Explore which hidden issues are operating in your relationship. Consider the degree to which each issue seems to affect your relationship […]
Fighting Better
Dear Neil: My wife and I are getting into a fair number of ugly arguments and vicious fights. Lots of things can trigger an argument, but stopping the argument is an entirely different matter. I feel we are destroying our relationship by the way we are fighting. Are there any suggestions you can offer about […]
Traits of a Good Relationship
Dear Neil: We have been married four years, and have noticed that a lot of things can water down our closeness and intimacy for us. Could you describe the traits or skills that are necessary for my wife and I to create the best relationship we possibly can? Dwindling in Pensacola, Florida Dear Dwindling: Here […]
38 Year Old Virgin Wants to Begin Dating
Dear Neil: I am 38, very shy, virgin, and I have never been in a romantic relationship. I am also very afraid of having a sexual experience. Is there any hope for me? If so, what are some steps that I could take? I have never seen my problem addressed before. Feeling Hopeless in Colorado […]
Quiz: Before You Marry
If you are planning on being married, and would like to know your fiancee‚ better—or build more intimacy into your relationship—address the following questions with each other: What are some of your life’s dreams? How did your parents treat you when you were young? How well did you get along with your parents? Growing up, […]
Communication Exercises for Those Planning to Marry
Congratulations. I hear you’re engaged to be married, and you have come to me, a marriage therapist, and have asked what the two of you should do to prepare for marriage. So here’s my advise: Sit down with each other and address the following questions. Make sure both of you have an opportunity to address […]
Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Men and Affairs?
How much do you know about infidelity and men? Take this quiz and find out. Answer all questions true or false. Answers are below. It is in men’s natures to want other sexual partners. No harm is done to a relationship if your partner doesn’t find out about your sexual adventures. A man doing poorly […]
Resolving Money ConflictsResolving Money Conflicts Well
Do you tend to believe that money leads to happiness, fulfillment, contentment? Do you buy things for yourself or others regardless of whether you have enough money to pay for these purchases? When you feel deprived or unloved, does buying yourself something seem like your first recourse? Do you often think wistfully about all the […]
Power Struggles Over Money Threaten Relationship
Dear Neil: My husband and I are in a sharp disagreement about how to handle money. We both work full time, but he brings in considerably more income than I do. Because he earns more and supports us, he feels he should be able to decide how and where our money is spent. This has […]