I have been living with this man for 18 months. Four months ago I found a text on his phone asking for a sensual massage. I googled the number and multiple ads popped up about guys asking for “happy ending” massages. When I confronted my partner, he admitted he likes getting getting a hand job […]
Is It Okay to Pursue a Relationship with a Friend’s Ex?
Dear Neil: I had been pursuing a woman for a couple of months, and we ended up dating for a while after that. It never got very serious, and in the end she let me know that she wasn’t looking for anything romantic with me. I was upset, but she was fair and direct about […]
In Order to Trust, You Need This
Dear Neil: My boyfriend of 18 months continuously lies to me. He’s lied about going places, about sleeping with his ex-girlfriend, about smoking, about drinking and about spending verses saving money. In the beginning of our relationship I got hold of his social media, and discovered he was flirting with other girls and talking trash […]
How Trust is Built—and Connection is Lost
Dear Neil: I just came out of an 11 year relationship. We lived together and had custody of his daughter who’s now 14. I work full time and make more money than him, and he works only part time. We got engaged 2 years ago, and decided we wanted a big wedding, so we opened […]
Rebuilding Trust After an Affair
Dear Neil: Could you address how to rebuild trust after an affair? Reader From New Zealand Dear New Zealand: What we actually mean when we say “I need to be able to trust you again” is really “I need to feel safe around you again.” So rebuilding trust is akin to restoring the feeling that […]
Basic Requirements in Order to Give a Relationship a Second Chance
Dear Neil: My husband of 3 years has been hiding his phone for the past 6 months. When asked why, he said that he likes his space, and he asked me to trust him. Our relationship has some issues, especially regarding our poor communication and our inability to discuss issues or share with each other. […]
When Maintaining Contact With An Ex-Lover Threatens A Relationship
Dear Neil: I am interested in your views of people staying in contact with their ex’s while in a new relationship. I have been dating a man for 5 months, and he believes it is fine to stay in contact and visit occasionally with his ex-partners. He says they are now “friends.” I feel that […]
Breach of Trust Must Be Fixed if Relationship Is to Continue
Dear Neil: I caught my husband telling another woman on the phone that she is beautiful. They work together. When confronted, he told me she recently split with her husband, and that he was consoling her. I have been suspicious for the past year, but when I brought it up he would brush me off. […]
Does My Lover Belong to Me or Not?
Dear Neil: I’ve had an awful secret for about 8 months now. I met a guy and we hit it off like no other. We are incredible together and I love him more than any man I’ve ever been with. We were both separated when we met, and I got divorced over a year ago. […]
What Do I Do With a Boyfriend Who Has Trouble Telling the Truth?
Dear Neil: My boyfriend of four years has issues telling the truth. When I confront him he becomes very defensive. His constant excuse is that: “I wasn’t lying. I just forgot to tell you.” He has lied about going to a strip club, driving drunk, smoking, talking with ex-girlfriends, exchanging pictures with ex-girlfriends, etc. The […]