Listed below are 6 different ways of loving, from the “Love Attitude Scale” created by Claude and Susan Hendrick. All are valid styles that reflect different attitudes about love, and you may have more than one style. Which styles fit you the best now, and which styles fit you the best earlier in your relationship […]
How To Choose The Best Marriage Counselor or Couples Therapist
There are many psychologists, counselors and therapists trained to do individual counseling. Some decide to expand their client base by branching off into offering marriage counseling or couple’s counseling. These are not normally the people you want to choose if you want help with your relationship. You want trained, licensed people who specialize in marriage […]
To Divorce or Not to Divorce? Here Are the Questions
If you are seriously contemplating divorce, here are some questions for you to explore beforehand: Is there something you’re wanting your spouse to do (or quit doing) in order for you to stay? If so, have you clearly articulated what it is? If you haven’t, it is vital you do so, because nobody is a […]
18 Signs That It’s Time to Let Go of a Relationship
Here are 18 signs that it is time to consider ending a relationship: You consistently don’t feel heard. You are more attached to the way you wish your partner would be rather than the way your partner actually is. You are continuously looking for your partner to change, and if things remain the way they […]
Quiz: What Grade Would You Get in Your Relationship?
If you were to give yourself a grade for how effective, how responsive and how loving you behave in your relationship, what would that grade be? Better yet, break the above question down into smaller segments. On an A B C D F scale, using (+) or (–) to more fully adjust your grade, what […]
Quiz: Are You Dating a Liar?
Many of us have been lied to by someone we love and trust. Although there are differences in lies—some people exaggerate the truth, other people leave important information out, still other people rationalize or excuse their own misrepresentations—the end result is often broken trust. And trust turns out to be a cornerstone for virtually all […]
What Does it Mean to “Take a Break?”
Dear Neil: My boyfriend and I have recently been having communication issues, and he suggested “taking a break.” What exactly does it mean to take a break? We talked about seeing other people and figuring out where each of us is headed. He also suggested we could get together in a month to talk about […]
Readers Respond to Recent Relationship Advice
Dear Neil: You recently reprinted a letter from a woman who was wondering why she and her husband were no longer having sex. Of all the reasons you offered about why couples quit having sex, you ignored the issue of being physically limited. My husband was diagnosed with diabetes. Despite our best efforts and modern […]
Should I Consider Breaking up My Family for a Man I Have Coveted for Years?
Dear Neil: 12 years ago, I met a man who I fell in love with, but the relationship never went any further than a friendship. Ever since then, I regret not having made my feelings clear to him. I am now in a long-term committed relationship with a man I love. But I periodically think […]