Most of us wish to be close to someone without getting destroyed in the process. If you have ever loved and lost, you will understand how hard it is to open up and to offer your heart yet again. The reason why people don’t love more is related to the fear of getting rejected, betrayed […]
Lack of Integrity Injures Self-Esteem & Self-Worth
Dear Neil: I am a pretty religious man, and I believe that I should operate by the highest standards and principles. But I don’t always do it. On a couple of occasions, I have been unfaithful to my wife, skipped my son’s baseball games with the excuse that I had to work, and I don’t […]
Integrity is Within Your Control
Dear Neil: I am having an extramarital affair, and I am wondering where integrity fits into the picture for me. Could you address the subject of integrity? Unfaithful in Atlanta, Georgia Dear Unfaithful: Integrity combines our ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs and behavior. When our behavior matches our values, when our ideals and our actions are […]
Why Are Men That Way?
Dear Neil: What is wrong with men? Why are they so aloof and un-giving, so emotionally repressed and independent? No wonder I can’t find a good man to have a tender and passionate relationship with. There aren’t any good men. Flustrated in Vancouver, British Columbia Dear Flustrated: Twenty five years ago, few men were sensitive […]
Chronically Single Women Wonder What The Problem Is
For many women, being single is not a chosen lifestyle, but a deeply painful and disappointing experience. Some have suffered through a social drought so severe that they feel they are going to dry up and blow away. Some have had several dysfunctional relationships, often including marriage and divorce. “Why am I still alone?” they […]
Reconnect and Re-Engage With Spouse
Dear Neil: I’m writing in response to your recent column on “approach-avoidance” behavior. I am a victim of this behavior, because I find intimate relationships painful. I feel torn by two feelings. Part of me wants to be close and loved, and the other part of me just wants to be left alone. I’ve been […]
Rape Victim Having a Hard Time Trusting Again
Dear Neil: I feel as if my whole life has been ruined because I was gang raped as a teenager. I have never received counseling for this, and I have never confided in anyone about it. Now at 35, I go to extraordinary lengths to place obstacles in the way—and run away from—anyone who shows […]
Impotence Can be Treated
Dear Neil: About a year ago I began having problems in getting an erection. Also, while making love, I have begun to go soft. I went to a doctor who gave me some medicine, but it didn’t help. He told me that I may have to have some tests done. What would you suggest? Lexington, […]
Valentine’s Week Shouldn’t be the Only Time for Romance
As we approach Valentine’s Week, here are a whole gaggle of romantic ideas and suggestions taken from the book, 10,000 Ways To Say I Love You by Gregory J. P. Godek (Casablanca Press, 1999). Two ground rules before we begin: First, it’s the doing and the expressing that makes romance work. Whatever else, remember that. Second, […]
Approach-Avoidance Behavior Hurtful to a Relationship
Distant Intimacy is Confusing Dear Neil: I am an attractive professional woman in my early 40’s, and have recently been dating a man who is seven years younger than myself. The start of our relationship was made in heaven: there was a lot of love and infatuation. Suddenly after two months, everything was off, as […]