Dear Neil: For six months I have been dating a man. At month two, we agreed we were both interested in pursuing a relationship with each other. However, for the past two months he’s been less physically affectionate. He now says he doesn’t know what he wants, but he still wants to be “friends.” I’ve […]
Rejections
Dear Neil: I left our house because my husband of 14 years did not want me there, and he was treating me very badly. He now treats me like an outcast, like I have done a great wrong, and has a great deal of anger toward me. In the past year, I discovered he was […]
Man Wants More From His Marriage
Dear Neil: I came from a broken family and was determined to make my marriage work at any cost. I’ve now been married 26 years, but we don’t have intimacy, and we never do anything together. I want the kids to have as close to a normal upbringing as I can provide, but I feel […]
Rebuilding Trust After a Betrayal
If you have been betrayed by someone you trusted—and are now having difficulty regaining trust—try these recommendations—taken from Jane Greer’s book How Could You Do This To Me? (Doubleday) The most difficult task in confronting a betrayer—and the step where most confrontations get derailed—is staying focused on your objective: the actions you want taken and the […]
Learning to Trust After Betrayal
Dear Neil: I have been married for twenty-two years. One year ago, I had a one month affair, which ended when my husband found out about it. Since then, our lives have turned upside down. I have spent the past year trying to make up for what I have done, but I have been unable […]
Stopping Verbal Abuse in Your Relationship
Recognizing verbal abuse is emotionally painful. It has to do with loss—the loss of illusion—and it is hurtful to the spirit. If you suffer from verbal abuse in your relationship, or suspect that you do, these are some steps you can take: Start setting limits.. Setting a limit is stating “I will not accept…” When […]
Verbally Abusive Relationships Are About Controlling Others
Are you in a relationship with someone who seems irritated or angry with you a great deal of the time? Where mistrust and ill will seems to prevail? Where you feel controlled or manipulated to such a degree that you do not feel in control of your own direction? If so, you may be in […]
Soulmate Relationships
Dear Neil: My girlfriend of two years recently broke up with me. She said that we weren’t soul mates, and that she needed a soul mate in order to consider a future with me. What exactly is a soul mate? Can you create a soul mate relationship or does it just happen? Is there anything […]
“Porcupine” Spouses Hard to Communicate With
Some people are like a walled-off garden. There is something beautiful inside them, but for some reason the beauty has been locked away….hidden behind a seemingly insurmountable wall. Let’s call these non-communicators “porcupines.” Porcupines don’t want to interact with other animals. They just want to be left alone. If you watch a curious young dog […]
Becoming Soulmates
Dear Neil: Can you tell me how my husband and I can become soul mates? Ready in Toronto Dear Ready: Following are the essential ingredients needed for two people to become—and stay—soul mates. These ideas were stimulated by Daphne Rose Kingma’s book “The Future Of Love” (Doubleday). Honesty. Each time we tell the truth we become […]