Dear Neil: I have received multiple mixed messages from this controlling woman in my life, including her acting like a parent and treating me as if I were her child. I have called her on her control issues hundreds of times, but to no avail. So I ended our relationship recently, and have been very […]
It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To
Dear Neil: My boyfriend/life partner (whom I’ve lived with for 6 years) has had it with my “inappropriate tears.” I tend to cry easily, but my partner thinks that this needs to be fixed. If he doesn’t see a valid reason for my tears, he accuses me of being manipulative or childish. What is your […]
Quiz: Are You Controlling?
Do you think you are controlling? Do other people tell you that you are too controlling? Do your relationships have a history of control issues or power struggles? Have lovers and/or spouses objected to you making important decisions without them? Do you take charge of the money in your household and demand explanations for expenditures […]
Why Are You Trying to Control Me?
Dear Neil: Three years ago, my husband of 39 years passed away. Seven months ago, I met a wonderful man who had also been married for 39 years before his wife left him. This new man is insisting that I need to consult with him before I agree to meet a family member or a […]
Make Important to You What is Important to Me
Dear Neil: I have been with my fiancé for over a year now. We are expecting our first child shortly. I moved to his town to be with him, and I just don’t like it. The town we are in is very small, and it feels like there are no opportunities here. We are living […]
I want a baby. My boyfriend can’t decide if he wants one.
Dear Neil: I’m in a four-year relationship with a man who just turned 40. We have been talking about marriage and kids for over two years now, almost always in conversations brought up by me. I’m almost 32, and I’m ready to start a family. My boyfriend has said he has real fears about having […]
Power Grab Speaks of Bigger Issues
Dear Neil: My wife has decided that she is going to get pregnant. She didn’t ask me how I felt about having a child, she told me that she has made a decision to get pregnant. What do you think about this? Feeling Forced in San Antonio, Texas Dear San Antonio: On first blush I […]
Are You Controlling?
Are you controlling? Have control/power issues been a big part of your history—either with you feeling controlled by others or by others accusing you of being controlling? You may not realize that your need for power is why previous intimate partner’s have left you in the past—or why one is resisting you in the present. […]
Should I Live with Photos of Widower’s Departed Spouse?
Dear Neil: I am crazy in love with a wonderful man—a widower. His late wife passed away eight years ago after 23 years of marriage. We have been engaged for over a year now. He has two grown sons, has another two sons (ages 10 and 12) at home and a special needs son that […]
Do You Communicate with Intent to Control?
Did you know that close to 90% of all human communication comes from the (usually unconscious) intent to control? So says Susan Campbell in the book Saying What’s Real (H. J. Kramer). She says the intent to control reveals itself in many disguises: Denying that you feel pain when you’re hurting. Trying to impress others. […]