Loving someone unconditionally is what most of us want to feel, what we hope to feel and what we do feel at times. But most of us also have desires, feelings, wishes and dreams, and if our wishes are ignored, violated or dishonored, we will—knowingly or not—fall out of love with our intimate partners. Thus, […]
Unconditional Love
What is unconditional love? Do you receive it from someone, and do you give it to other people? For that matter, do you feel unconditional love towards yourself? What is unconditional love? “Loving the person even if you don’t like their behavior,” says Amy T. from Triangle, Virginia. “Accepting the person for what they are, […]
Healing Childhood
Letting Go of the Past If you are afraid of closeness or intimacy, who are you going to pick to be in a relationship with? You’re going to pick someone who is impossible to get close to, someone who is unemotional, non-communicative, or who is emotionally withdrawn and distant. They may be tuned in to […]
The Art of Forgiveness
Forgiving someone means to pardon them while giving up your resentment, and letting go of your urge to punish. The decision to forgive someone arises out of the desire to be at peace with yourself and others. The person who forgives usually gains more from the experience than the person being forgiven. It is an […]
Learning to Forgive
“We have been married 38 years, have four children and five grandchildren,” writes a woman from Milwaukee. “Last December, I confirmed my suspicion (that my husband) had been seeing someone else. She’d just turned 40, which is three years older than our oldest daughter.” “The other woman sent me copies of photos, notes and cards […]
Emotionally Unavailable
Being Involved With an Unavailable Partner is a Dead End “I am writing to you about the man I have been dating for over seven years. We are not engaged and there is no commitment on his part. We see each other only when it appears to be convenient for him,” writes Shirley of Janesville, […]
Fantasizing
When is it Appropriate During Sex? Dear Neil: “My husband has an addiction to porn. At 70, he even makes things to have sex with. I told him he was ruining my sex life, but he says he doesn’t care. I think he’s a sick person. He’s always on the make for some woman-every woman […]
Solving Conflict
There is Another Way Terry Dodson tells a story of learning about handling and resolving conflict. Because of space limitations, I’ve had to edit his tale to its essence. “The train clanked and rattled through the suburbs of Tokyo on a drowsy spring afternoon. At one station, the doors opened and suddenly the afternoon quiet […]
Recovering From Infidelity
“I have been living apart from my husband of thirty years, after I discovered (that he had been having) an affair with another woman. Sadly, he continued to deceive me during this time,” writes Anna B. from Christchurch, New Zealand. “I am having great difficulty coping with the fact that I was deceived so badly, […]
Being Faithful is a Decision
“I have been having an affair for eight years. I am scared to death of the prospect of being caught, but that doesn’t stop me,” writes a reader from Denver. “Every few months, I resolve to stop this affair, until my life becomes consumed with my need for sex, affection and attention.” “I have pleaded […]