Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: How can I determine if my boyfriend is going through a midlife crisis? Disturbed in Longmont, Colorado Dear Disturbed: Take this quiz, courtesy of Gay Courter and Pat Gaudette in the book How To Survive Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis (Perigee). How many of the following […]
Tips for Finding That Special Someone
When You Don’t Have a Valentine It’s Valentine’s week, and you don’t have anyone special to call your own. Sound familiar? Here are the best ways of finding that special someone if you’re looking for a Valentine: Go where people have the opportunity of talking or interacting with each other, such as an adult-education class, […]
How Do I Connect With A Women?
Dear Neil: How does a man connect with a woman these days? I am failing miserably since my divorce. Alone in London, Ontario Dear Alone: Connecting with a new person […]
How to Overcome Depression
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. How do you overcome depression? Try these: Activities: Exercise; sports; long walks; yoga; dancing; reading; listening to music; long hot baths; making love; gardening; drawing or painting; journal writing; writing letters; shopping; day trips; playing a musical instrument; spending time with young children; cleaning; watching videos […]
What Makes Relationships Work?
Dear Neil: There are so many failed marriages and/or relationships anymore—including my own—that I would like to know if you could write about what people need to do in order to make their relationship work? What separates a “normal” relationship—the one most of us have—from a good one? What is required in order to make […]
Why Am I So Critical of Others?
Dear Neil: Why am I so critical of other people? I can really get on my boyfriend’s case from time to time, because he angers or disappoints me, because he misses an opportunity to be romantic or endearing, or because he says or does something that hurts me. I think perhaps I’ve always been like […]
Internet Dating
Dear Neil: I have dated several different men I have met on the Internet. Do you have any thoughts or advice about Internet dating? Curious in Longmont, Colorado Dear Curious: In a relatively short period of time, Internet dating—meeting someone through a singles dating service such as Match.com or Yahoo Personals—has exploded in popularity and […]
Stopping Emotional Blackmail
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Some people who use emotional blackmail are passive, some quite aggressive. Some are direct and others are extremely subtle. Some let us know precisely what the consequences will be if we displease them, others emphasize how much we are making them […]
Emotional Blackmail
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: My wife and I were going to spend Christmas in Hawaii, and we were both greatly looking forward to this trip. We hit a snag, however, when I told my parents, who are in their mid-70’s. My mother’s response […]
Why Intimate Relationships End
Dear Neil: My boyfriend abruptly ended our two year relationship. No real explanation was offered—just that he decided that I wasn’t the one. There was no discussion about what went into his decision, or what he was thinking or feeling about me—or about us. But I’m sure we both loved and cared about each other. […]