Let’s face it: it’s pretty easy to be tempted. Attractive strangers, hot co-workers, charming business associates, sexy acquaintances. We have lots of possibilities to have multiply affairs all around us if we wish to be tempted. So why do some stray when others don’t? Take this quiz, courtesy of Pepper Schwartz in The Lifetime Love […]
Solving Seemingly Unsolvable Conflicts
Does this problem sound familiar? She wants him to take a larger role in housekeeping, domestic chores and keeping the place picked up. He wants her to get off his back. Don’t relate to that issue? How about this one? She wants to socialize with and meet new people at parties and other social events, […]
Why Am I Jaded?
Discovering Your Wounded Idealist Dear Neil: I seem to have developed a jaded, cynical and sarcastic way about me, and I have been told by others that I come across negatively. I can see this behavior in myself. For some reason I have become judgmental and critical—of other people and of myself—and I have developed […]
Meeting Life’s Challenges
How do you handle adversity and disappointment? Adversity can take a lot of forms: a life threatening illness; being fired; divorce; the death of a loved one; losing someone or something you cherished; an injury; a betrayal, or even just having your illusions shattered. Recovering from such events requires great reserves of inner strength, mastery […]
Mistakes As Teachers
Dear Neil: Could you talk about why I keep thinking about various mistakes I’ve made over the years? Sometimes I think of mistakes that I made years ago that I still feel embarrassed—and even shame over. What can I do about this? Embarrassed in Colorado Dear Embarrassed: View your mistakes as valuable teachers. If you […]
Cheating “Maleman” Delivers Heartache to Wife
Dear Neil: Can you help me let go of my love for my ex-husband? When I finally discovered that he had been having not one, but two affairs with women along his mailman route, I honestly felt like my world collapsed. Can you help me understand why someone would need to do that? He portrayed […]
Self-Love Requires Being On Your Side
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one When you love and value yourself, you start taking care of your health; your body; your psyche; your relationships with others; and your sense of vitality, optimism, and overall well-being. Here are some of the things you can do to better love, respect […]
How Do I Become Self-Loving?
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: I’m 54, and have had to face aloneness, fear and memories of childhood rape and emotional abuse. How do I become self-loving? Trying to Heal in Wellington, New Zealand Dear Trying: You don’t have control over how you grew up, […]
Love Requires Heart and Vulnerability
Dear Neil: I’m wondering why I cannot trust my heart. Ever since marrying my husband four years ago, I have known something was wrong. After a year of searching, I have finally figured out that I married him based on “cognitive” things that I thought would make a good marriage. The problem is that I’ve […]
Commitment Means Facing Your Fears
Note: This is the third of a three-part series. Click here for part two The following are issues that lead people to fear commitment in their intimate relationships: The fear of giving up the dream. Walking along-side each of us is a dream of the ideal partner, the soul mate, the karmic connection. This is […]