Love involves looking at someone subjectively instead of objectively. It asks of me to give my heart to another regardless of whether that person has earned it. In fact, I become willing to overlook the negatives about someone in order to be smitten. I give my heart because I want to be attached to that […]
Can I Develop Love When I Don’t Feel It?
Dear Neil: I am in dire need of your help. I am married to a wonderful man for 5 years who loves me, but I have always struggled with feeling love for him. Mentally I have compared him negatively with others a lot. I was scared and anxious when we were engaged, and constantly thought […]
Want To Fall in Love? Do This
Want to fall in love? Here is a set of questions designed for you to take a promising or hopeful relationship to the next level. I should state that these questions require someone else’s active and willing participation, and it helps enormously if both of you are sexually and/or sensually attracted to each other. Also, […]
Learn the Difference: Sex is not Love
Dear Neil: This year I started college and met this wonderful boy, who I will call “Sam.” He has been going out with his girlfriend for a year, and he and I have been sleeping with each other for the last 5 months. A month into this secret relationship (nobody could know because he had […]
The Chemistry of Love
Dear Neil: What chemical changes occur when we enter a new relationship and then fall in love? I remember reading an article saying the changes that occur in the brain when we begin a new relationship are like a continuous feeling of euphoria. Curious in Wellington, New Zealand Dear Wellington: There is no experience more […]
Love Isn’t Enough to Keep Your Relationship Solid
Dear Neil: My fiancé and I are in a 15 month relationship, and we’re planning on getting married 5 months from now. But before we marry, we need some help. First of all, you would think that we have been together long enough so that we would have worked out basic living agreements. But no, […]
Quiz: How Comfortable Are You in Receiving Love?
Note: This is the first of a three-part series. Below are questions designed to help you discover how comfortable you are in receiving love. Rank each item with S for “sometimes,” O for “often,” or R for “rarely” or N for “never.” ___ Do you feel uncomfortable when somebody brags about you? ___ Do you […]
Quiz: Is There Love and Respect in Your Relationship?
Is there enough love and respect in your intimate relationship? Do you and your partner show each other empathy, support, care, affection, friendship, sympathy and love? How do you express such emotions, how is that expression received by your partner, and where could you improve in the ways that you express love and respect? Take […]
How Intimate Do You Want to Be?
On a scale from 1 (low) to 10 (high), choose a number that represents how much closeness you’re comfortable with in an intimate relationship. Many people are less than completely honest about this issue. They want closeness and intimacy, but not too much of it, not all the time and only in certain times and […]
Falling in Love Requires You Offering Your Heart
Dear Neil: In the past few years, I have had several different relationships with me that seem to follow the same pattern. The man is hot, and the relationship starts out with great interest, enthusiasm, hope, chemistry and passion. But after awhile, I seem to lose that enthusiasm and begin to notice a variety of […]