Dear Neil: I am dating a man who has major trust issues and erratic mood swings. He’s bought me things that I warmly accepted, and then has accused me of being a user and thinking of him like he was an ATM machine. He’s thrown hurtful insults at me that will never go away. Although […]
Jealousy Keeps You Stuck in Your Own Insecurities
Dear Neil: I get very insecure when I catch my man even looking at another woman, and it gets worse at a social gathering when he is engaged in a conversation with a female. I don’t believe he has been unfaithful, but I’m fighting these jealous feelings way more than I would like. Any suggestions? […]
Romancing The Stone
Dear Neil: My boyfriend rarely calls or contacts me, rarely invites me to get together, and seldom is romantic. He is preoccupied with his work, and because of that we seldom actually see each other. I want him to be my soul mate, but I’m not feeling special, valued or important to him, and I […]
Woman Asks: “Why Am I Still Single?”
Dear Neil: I live in a community where there are 5 men for every woman. Yet when a close friend of mine and myself open ourselves to a possible relationship with one of these men, things go wrong. My friend and I have open hearts, are strong women, we have substance, we both have professional […]
When Your Grown Child Rejects You
Dear Neil: My daughter does’t want contact with me. She will not call, and she won’t respond to my attempts at communicating. Is there any way of redeeming this relationship? Rejected By My Grown Child Dear Rejected: Here are some suggestions about what to do: When communication is possible, make the first move; don’t expect […]
Quiz: Are You Depressed?
Are you depressed? Depression does not necessarily mean you’re just sad. You might be more numb—not feeling much of anything—than sad. But some people are in deed sad, withdrawn from others as well as from themselves, and withdrawn from most of the activities that used to bring them pleasure and enjoyment. Take this quiz, adapted […]
How Could I Be Happier?
Our happiness is affected by a variety of temporary feelings and circumstances. If you run out of gas and are late to work, if your boss gives you a big raise, if your spouse goes to bed angry with you, if the flowers you planted bloom beautifully, if you twist your ankle—all of this temporarily […]
Why Am I Attracted to Withdrawn Men?
The Allure of “Unpredictable Love” Of the thousands of letters and emails I get from readers around the world asking for relationship advice, the most frequent center around someone in a relationship pushing away or running hot and cold. Here are a few examples: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. After […]
When One Person Withdraws From a Relationship
Has this happened to you? Two people fall in love with each other. But then one person runs away, pushes the other person away, escalates with anger or personal attacks, or withdraws. The person who has not withdrawn becomes enormously puzzled by this obvious change of heart and frantically attempts to charm, buy, entice, cajole, […]
Quiz: Are You a White Knight?
You remember the tales, don’t you? About the knight in white armor rescuing the damsel in distress and carrying her off into the sunset. Are you a male (or a female) white knight? That is, do you have a pattern of rescuing intimate partners? Take this quiz to find out. Decide whether the following statements […]