Dear Neil: Is there a way to measure how resilient a person is? My girlfriend walked out on me the same week I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I’m handling things okay, but it got me to wondering if being resilient is something I could cultivate or develop. Any ideas? Holding On In San Francisco […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Often couples want opposing things. They want a close passionate relationship with their spouse or intimate partner—and they want the instant stimulation and feelings of connection they get from social media. And all too frequently, those two desires are in opposition to one another. That is, […]
If you were to give yourself a grade for how effective, how responsive and how loving you behave in your relationship, what would that grade be? Better yet, break the above question down into smaller segments. On an A B C D F scale, using (+) or (–) to more fully adjust your grade, what […]
Note: This is first of a three-part series. Dear Neil: I am a 43-year-old educated, attractive and professional woman who has never been married. I have left most of the men I have been involved with through the years. Is there a way to tell if I am afraid of commitment? Anxious In Portland Dear […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Here are questions designed to assist you in getting to know yourself better. I urge you to do this exercise in writing, because you’ll forget your answers if you don’t write them down. After you’ve answered a question, challenge yourself to […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two We tend to focus on the relationships with the people closest to us: our spouse or intimate partner, our friends, children, parents, extended family, friends and co-workers. We ask ourselves how these relationships are going and what we need to do […]
How much do you really know about sex? Sure, you know the basics about the birds and the bees, but how savvy are you about all the rest of the stuff that goes on between the sheets? Answer these questions, taken from Pepper Schwartz’s The Lifetime Love and Sex Quiz Book—and see how much you […]
How jealous a person are you? Is jealousy a problem in your relationship? How often has jealousy been a problem in your previous relationships? Take this quiz to see how affected you are by jealous feelings. On a scale from 1 (no jealousy/no) to 7 (extreme jealousy/yes), figure out which number best fits how you […]
Dear Neil: I’ve been with a man for 21 months, but our relationship has been a constant roller coaster. He has issues with drinking, lying and keeping things from me. He has admitted to living like he was a single man while he’s been with me. Every fight he blames me for, throws a tantrum […]
If you think about nurturing a child or a dog, most of us understand the basics about what such behaviors ask of us. But when grown men and women complain that their spouses or intimate partners don’t nurture them enough, often their partners say that they don’t know what nurturing behaviors are—or what’s being asked […]