Dear Neil: Why am I so critical of other people? I can really get on my boyfriend’s case from time to time, because he angers or disappoints me, because he misses an opportunity to be romantic or endearing, or because he says or does something that hurts me. I think perhaps I’ve always been like […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Some people who use emotional blackmail are passive, some quite aggressive. Some are direct and others are extremely subtle. Some let us know precisely what the consequences will be if we displease them, others emphasize how much we are making them […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: My wife and I were going to spend Christmas in Hawaii, and we were both greatly looking forward to this trip. We hit a snag, however, when I told my parents, who are in their mid-70’s. My mother’s response […]
Do you suspect that your partner is secretly seeing someone else? That someone may be chasing after him/her? That your partner may be attracted to someone else? That s/he may be physically or emotionally intimate with another person behind your back? That s/he has a weak spot for other men/women? Jealousy is an emotion that […]
Dear Neil: I’m hoping you can help me figure out what I’m doing wrong in my romantic relationships. I meet a nice man, we date several times, he starts to make intimations of getting closer, and I freak out and end our relationship. I then meet another man. We date a few times, I find […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series Aimee is standing in front of the mirror staring at herself. “Gary…do you think I need to get my nose fixed?” If Gary’s goal is a closer partnership, he needs to create safety for Aimee. And that means passing up the opportunity to make a joke […]
Dear Neil: I sometimes get aggressively hostile toward my boyfriend, even though I know he doesn’t mean me harm with what he says. But when he says something negative or critical of me, or even just something that I’d rather he not feel or (not say), I can get seriously angry, hostile and mean to […]
Dear Neil: I was dating the most wonderful girl in the world. The only girl who I have thought about being with for the rest of my life. She was the best thing that ever happened to me—and I cheated on her. I don’t know why I cheated, but I did. I am twenty-three and […]
Let’s face it: it’s pretty easy to be tempted. Attractive strangers, hot co-workers, charming business associates, sexy acquaintances. We have lots of possibilities to have multiply affairs all around us if we wish to be tempted. So why do some stray when others don’t? Take this quiz, courtesy of Pepper Schwartz in The Lifetime Love […]
Dear Neil: Can you help me let go of my love for my ex-husband? When I finally discovered that he had been having not one, but two affairs with women along his mailman route, I honestly felt like my world collapsed. Can you help me understand why someone would need to do that? He portrayed […]