Dear Neil: My 2 previous marriages ended with me being deceived by both of my ex’s. This made me create a wall to protect myself. I am now engaged to someone who has lied to me several times, and he once called his ex’s name out while we were intimate, so my wall is up […]
Jealousy Keeps You Stuck in Your Own Insecurities
Dear Neil: I get very insecure when I catch my man even looking at another woman, and it gets worse at a social gathering when he is engaged in a conversation with a female. I don’t believe he has been unfaithful, but I’m fighting these jealous feelings way more than I would like. Any suggestions? […]
How Do I Stop Being Jealous and Possessive?
Dear Neil: My boyfriend and I are now in our fifth year. Ever since we started our relationship, we have been very attached. We were always together or constantly texting each other. I’m 24 and he’s 26. Two years ago, I cheated on him and he found out. Yet he still accepted me, and he’s made […]
Do I Have to Tolerate Photos of My Boyfriend’s Ex-Wife?
Dear Neil: My boyfriend of 6 months has been a widower for almost 3 years. His late wife of 17 years killed herself, and had multiple addiction and mental health problems. There were no children. He has a half dozen photos of her up, mostly family group photos with her and others in his family. […]
Does Good Come From Jealousy?
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Is jealousy a sign of love? Does it induce commitment? Does it teach people to not take their relationship for granted? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you’re in good company, because various researchers and marriage counselors have […]
Can Any Good Come From Jealousy?
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Is jealousy a sign of love? Does it induce commitment? Does it teach people to not take their relationship for granted? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you’re in good company, because various researchers and marriage counselors have come […]
What Do I Do When My Boyfriend is Very Friendly With His Ex?
Dear Neil: My boyfriend (not live-in) is very friendly with his ex. They have had an off-and-on intimate relationship over the last 20 years. She sometimes comes to see him in the evening unannounced—cooks him dinner and stays late into the night. This seems disrespectful to me. The trouble is, he asked me if I […]
Facing The Green-Eyed Monster Together
Do you suspect that your partner is secretly seeing someone else? That someone may be chasing after him/her? That your partner may be attracted to someone else? That s/he may be physically or emotionally intimate with another person behind your back? That s/he has a weak spot for other men/women? Jealousy is an emotion that […]
Jealousy Rooted in Insecurity
Dear Neil: I used to be a very jealous wife, and am happy to tell you that I have changed. My jealousy and fits of rage were rooted in insecurity. Partly, I have baggage because my father was disloyal to my mother. Partly, it was that I was bashful and quiet, and my husband is […]
Jealousy Keeps a Relationship From Being Voluntary
Jealousy is an emotion that keeps you from falling out of love, while at the same time it keeps you from feeling love. It keeps you emotionally bound to and dependent upon the person you love. In the range of human emotions, jealousy strikes primal. Cain, son of Adam in the Bible, slew his brother […]