Dear Neil: This is a story of two men. One is a gentle man who genuinely likes me and who nurtures me, is wonderfully caretaking, kind, emotionally healthy and sweet. The other man is totally self-absorbed and self-centered, jealous, insecure, controlling, manipulative, mean-spirited, dishonest and he treats me like dirt. Oh, did I mention that […]
Dear Neil: I have been with my partner for three years. In the beginning, our love making was great, but as time went on she stopped giving herself to me on a regular basis. I now get sex once a month, if I’m lucky. It seems related to money, because the more I make, the […]
This quiz will help you identify how much you trust yourself vs. how much you doubt yourself. Give yourself a score of 0-5 for each question, where 0 means it doesn’t apply at all, and 5 means that it is often troublesome to you. Do you berate yourself for having strong feelings? (anger, fear, loneliness, […]
Dear Neil: My husband of 15 years has just told me of his active bisexuality. He has been having sexual liaisons for the whole of our marriage, and tells me that 80% of the men he has sex with are heterosexual, in stable relationships, and with no intentions of leaving their partners/wives/families—or of revealing their […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one The following questions are designed to help you explore how you can increase your sense of personal power, self-worth and self-esteem—by exploring where in life you’ve been intelligent, kind, healthy, strong, courageous or wise. These questions come courtesy of Carlene and […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two If you are like most of us, you focus most of your personal attention on your problems and your challenges—on the things that aren’t going so well in your life. Things such as relationship troubles, financial worries, career stumbles or dead-ends, […]
Dear Neil: Last May I lost my boyfriend of the past four years. Our relationship wasn’t going anywhere, because he just couldn’t give me what I wanted and needed. I tried my best and it failed. I am writing to you because I am feeling very alone and lonely, and I am hoping you could […]
Dear Neil: I married the distant/critical type and had to get divorced. I am currently dating the loving/approving type, but I occasionally find myself being distant and critical with him. What do I do to stop the cycle and not drive the good man away? Christchurch, New Zealand Dear Neil: I’ve been married 23 years […]
Most of the time, the couple that plays together, stays together. Once a relationship has a commitment, people tend to quit dating—and the fun slows way down. What we then have is a variety of responsibilities and obligations—all of the things we “have to” do in order to sustain a relationship, family, home, career and […]
Dear Neil: Can counseling help a situation such as ours? My marriage from the start has involved verbal, emotional, mental and at times physical abuse. Police have been involved several times. In the most recent incident, where things got somewhat physical, I left the home. My husband, thinking I was going to contact the police, […]