Everyone knows that it feels more intimate to be connected to the people we care about and love. But what does that mean, and how do you do it? How do you stay connected with your spouse or intimate partner—or for that matter with your children, family and friends? What do you do? How do […]
Dear Neil: Over the past two years, my lady has increasingly gotten on my nerves, and it has made me question whether I want to continue in the relationship with her. In a nutshell, she keeps her apartment cluttered and in great disarray, she talks way too loud (people stare at us in a restaurant) […]
Dear Neil: This year I started college and met this wonderful boy, who I will call “Sam.” He has been going out with his girlfriend for a year, and he and I have been sleeping with each other for the last 5 months. A month into this secret relationship (nobody could know because he had […]
Here’s a snap quiz in honor of Valentine’s Day. When women use the term romance, what do they mean? What does romance mean to most women? And when men use the term romance, what does romance mean to them? Before you read what I’m about to say, answer the above questions first. One gender (women) […]
Dear Neil: I have been with my fiancé for over a year now. We are expecting our first child shortly. I moved to his town to be with him, and I just don’t like it. The town we are in is very small, and it feels like there are no opportunities here. We are living […]
Dear Neil: I was wondering if you have a Wife 101 column to go with your Husbandry 101 column. What are the equivalent rules for women? Committed Lady in Australia Dear Australia: Here they are. Many women adopt a passive attitude toward romance; they tend to think of courtship, romance and seduction as something a […]
Dear Neil: I have saved a column you wrote over a decade ago called “Husbandry 101: For Committed Men.” My copy has yellowed and frayed over the years, so could you rerun that column again? I believe many would like to see it again. Boulder, Colorado Dear Boulder: You bet. Here is a list of […]
The variety of couples in the news who are separating or divorcing is a sober reminder that our intimate relationships are fragile and can break—and that they must be handled with proper care and maintenance. Many things can go wrong in a marriage. But there are things you can do—or stop doing—that directly relate to […]
Over the course of my career as a marriage counselor, I have heard thousands of stories about intimate relationships that have gone wrong. Love, which takes much less effort in the beginning of a relationship, increasingly requires far more effort, relational skills and stick-to-it-ness as the relationship matures. Because of the almost unlimited number of […]
Dear Neil: After my husband and I have a disagreement, especially if voices have been raised, I get the silent treatment. It can last as long as two weeks. I used to cry and attempt to cajole him into communicating during those spells, but that only seemed to strengthen his resolve. So now I go […]