Dear Neil: Could you recommend a way my husband and I can fight (or even talk and disagree) more effectively? Our disagreements are getting very heated and personal, and sometimes attacking, and they’re threatening our marriage. Heated in Sydney, Australia Dear Heated: We all know that when couples are screaming at each other, or when […]
Cultivating More Love in Your Relationship
Most of us wish to be close to someone without getting destroyed in the process. If you have ever loved and lost, you will understand how hard it is to open up and to offer your heart yet again. The reason why people don’t love more is related to the fear of getting rejected, betrayed […]
Valentine’s Week Shouldn’t be the Only Time for Romance
As we approach Valentine’s Week, here are a whole gaggle of romantic ideas and suggestions taken from the book, 10,000 Ways To Say I Love You by Gregory J. P. Godek (Casablanca Press, 1999). Two ground rules before we begin: First, it’s the doing and the expressing that makes romance work. Whatever else, remember that. Second, […]
Handling Conflict More Effectively
Next time you’re trying to defuse a conflict with someone who’s angry or upset, use the Psychotherapist’s Tool to talk the person through his or her emotions rather than trying to talk him or her out it of them. What is the Psychotherapist’s Tool? It involves paraphrasing back what someone has said in an effort […]
Defusing Verbal Conflict
What do you do in a conflict when someone says something unfair or unkind? Do you get aggressive? Defensive? Do you remain silent because you don’t know what to say? Do you speak up but later wish you hadn’t? Do you think of the perfect response later on? It’s natural to take offense if someone […]
Intensity and Passion Can be Developed and Encouraged
Dear Neil: I have just moved in with my boyfriend after a year of dating. He is the kindest, most wonderful man, and he is my best friend. But I cannot purge the memory of an old relationship from four years ago. My current relationship lacks the intensity of the former, but I feel that […]
Avoiding Conflict Will Not Fix Your Relationship
s…and is a poor way of resolving differences In a fight or argument, what is your fight style? Does one of you run from conflict, refuse to talk about a disagreement, withdraw, cry, shut down or emotionally disappear in the face of conflict? If so, you fit the description of “conflict avoidant.” Regardless as to […]
Erotic Talk Adds Spice to Your Relationship
Erotic talk, called “verbal foreplay” by Bonnie Gabriel in the book The Fine Art Of Erotic Talk (Bantam Books), is about talking in sensuous ways that generate passion between you and your lover. Here are some Gabriel suggests that you can add erotic talk to spice up your intimate relationship: Learn the art of “erotic subtext.” […]
The Fine Art of Erotic Talk
Most men and women find that erotic words and voice tone are important ingredients in their arousal. Called “verbal foreplay” by Bonnie Gabriel in the book The Fine Art of Erotic Talk (Bantam Books), she says words are wonderful aphrodisiacs. “Through words, you can stimulate the pleasure centers in your partner’s mind so they send shivers […]
Creating an A+ Relationship
A Valentine Week Primer on How to Have The Best Intimate Relationship You Possibly Can A+ relationship. Noun. 1. The best intimate relationship you can possibly create. 2. A loving monogamous relationship that is excellent, superior, awesome, exciting, passionate, growing, fulfilling, fascinating and romantic. 3. An act of creation involving two individuals—two artists whose lifework […]