Try doing this relationship wellness checkup for Valentine’s, and look at how you can better love (and be loved). Take turns addressing each of the following questions. Make sure both partners get an equal chance to address the questions, and assume there will be multiple answers to every question. You get bonus points for not […]
Dear Neil: 2 years ago, one of my friends introduced me to his daughter, and she and I got close very fast. She moved to my town, and wants me to take on a father role to her 5 year old child. But she is disrespectful and jealous, and this relationship has cost me a […]
Dear Neil: I am in dire need of your help. I am married to a wonderful man for 5 years who loves me, but I have always struggled with feeling love for him. Mentally I have compared him negatively with others a lot. I was scared and anxious when we were engaged, and constantly thought […]
Most of us want to believe the fairy tale we grew up with: that two people can fall in love, get married and live happily ever after—or some variation of that. Some of us do live that fairy tale, but most of us struggle with the “happily ever after” part. It’s not that we don’t […]
Want to fall in love? Here is a set of questions designed for you to take a promising or hopeful relationship to the next level. I should state that these questions require someone else’s active and willing participation, and it helps enormously if both of you are sexually and/or sensually attracted to each other. Also, […]
Let’s say your beloved dog dies, and you are heartsick. As you tell different people of your loss, notice your emotional reactions and your gut feelings to the following responses: “I’m sorry for your loss.” “You’ll get over it in time.” “Your dog is in a better place now.” “Are you going to get another […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for three and a half years (we are 22 and 21 respectively). We have had a great relationship, and now we feel like we’re ready to take another step. But I am a college student still living at home, and he has started his […]
Why does it hurt that the Broncos were humiliated and embarrassed in the Super Bowl? I shut the TV off in the third quarter, when the score was 30-something to 0. I felt completely deflated—like a balloon that had lost all of its air. But I didn’t lose the Super Bowl, the Broncos did. So […]
In honor of Valentine’s week, here is a continuation of some of the basic intimacy skills a healthy relationship requires of us: Make your relationship a top priority. Don’t spend your “prime time” consistently preoccupied with other things, and don’t permit yourself to be too tired when you’re around your partner. Consistently show up both […]
Here are the basic intimacy skills a healthy intimate relationship requires of us: That I communicate with you the very best I can. Good communication takes place when I put aside my own thoughts, feelings and needs for a while to concentrate my attention on you while you are speaking. When I listen, I give […]