Dear Neil: How would you recommend I handle this? My wife of three months is chronically late. She was late to our wedding and late to our honeymoon (we missed our flight, but we were able to get a later flight). I’m one of these super-punctual people, and her persistent lateness is a strong irritation […]
Empathy is the ability to feel the emotions of someone else. It describes how well we identify with other people’s pain, fears, desires, feelings and experiences. It is the one trait that most links humans together. It makes me have compassion for what has befallen you, it allows you to feel excited by my success, […]
Dear Neil: What chemical changes occur when we enter a new relationship and then fall in love? I remember reading an article saying the changes that occur in the brain when we begin a new relationship are like a continuous feeling of euphoria. Curious in Wellington, New Zealand Dear Wellington: There is no experience more […]
Note: This is the third of a three-part series. Click here for part one Suppose your intimate partner said something that hurt your feelings and you retaliate with a cutting remark. You are angry and you try to think of the reasons why s/he was so hurtful to you. So you come up with a […]
Note: This is the second of a three-part series. Click here for part three Emotional intimacy is being open and revealing about what you feel and what you think. When you are emotionally intimate with someone, you allow that person inside your private emotional space by sharing your deepest emotions and your innermost thoughts. Many couples “make love” […]
Note: This is the first of a three-part series. Click here for part two When we think of intelligence, we usually think of doing well in school, getting good grades and generally being the equivalent of a rocket scientist. That is called intellectual intelligence, and we refer to it as IQ. But there is also social intelligence (SQ), […]
Want your relationship to be closer? Want greater understanding and friendship with your lover? Want a deeper, more intimate connection with the man or woman you call yours, or want to someday call yours? Try this couple’s communication exercise, courtesy of Michael, Stanis and Senna Beck in their book 365 Questions for Couples (Adams Media Press). Take […]
Dear Neil: My fiancé and I are in a 15 month relationship, and we’re planning on getting married 5 months from now. But before we marry, we need some help. First of all, you would think that we have been together long enough so that we would have worked out basic living agreements. But no, […]
“We have been married 38 years, have four children and five grandchildren,” writes a woman from Milwaukee. “Last December, I confirmed my suspicion (that my husband) had been seeing someone else. She’d just turned 40, which is three years older than our oldest daughter.” “The other woman sent me copies of photos, notes and cards that he […]
Dear Neil: I discovered a few months ago that my husband was having an emotional affair. I had to discover everything—because he would not confess it until I asked him questions. First it was just “friends,” until I found more evidence. Then he admitted they had “feelings” for each other. But because he never came […]