Here are the skills and attitudes that are components of maturity. If I am mature: I exercise considered judgment before acting on something important. I control my emotions and impulses (anger, revenge, lust, vindictiveness, hopefulness, etc.) in order to make the wisest choice. I use my experience and knowledge to guide me in making prudent […]
Dear Neil: How do I stop myself from getting too invested in a relationship? I am a 37 year old female with a good job, and I have spent almost a year with this guy. But he had to move away for work, so we’ve had a long-distance relationship for the past 3 months. He […]
The following questions will help you to evaluate what kind of partner you are, how you’re doing and what changes that would help you to be a better spouse. Answer the following questions honestly and thoroughly. It will help for you to write your answers down or type them up, because you won’t remember them […]
Dear Neil: If I don’t have sex when I’m angry or hurt, or when I don’t feel safe opening up to my husband, am I abusing him? Am I required to have the stomach-churning, skin-crawling, leave me dead inside sex—regardless of the physical pain that goes with it, or the longer-lasting damage to my self-esteem? […]
As we approach father’s day, it might be useful for you to look at how your relationship with your father has affected your life. Although mothers get much of the credit for raising and nurturing kids, don’t fool yourself about the importance of your father. Whether he’s alive or dead, his influence has been extremely […]
Dear Neil: I just came out of an 11 year relationship. We lived together and had custody of his daughter who’s now 14. I work full time and make more money than him, and he works only part time. We got engaged 2 years ago, and decided we wanted a big wedding, so we opened […]
Dear Neil: My significant other of 3 years doesn’t understand that I need reassurance from him because of his rejection and abandonment from the past. All he can say to me is that I need to move on or it’s not going to work, and that I need to decide to trust him. But I’m […]
Dear Neil: I am a 55 year old adopted male. I have 3 failed marriages. I have always felt so alone, I’m not close to anyone—and I don’t have a strong sense of family. This affects all of my relationships. Even in younger years, I don’t remember having best friends. When I vocalize my feelings, […]
Dear Neil: I have received multiple mixed messages from this controlling woman in my life, including her acting like a parent and treating me as if I were her child. I have called her on her control issues hundreds of times, but to no avail. So I ended our relationship recently, and have been very […]
Dear Neil: I’m in a three year live-in relationship, and we are at a decision time regarding our future. Either we’re going to commit to each other and get engaged, or it is time for me to pull the plug and move on, because I very much wish to find somebody I can settle down […]