Dear Neil: I’m in a 9 year relationship with a man who has been emotionally unavailable. Our typical pattern consists of him coming over to my house, we have sex and then he leaves right after. I have called him periodically and he is always busy: in a meeting, going to the airport or doing […]
Cell Phone Addiction Can Threaten a Relationship
Dear Neil: As soon as my girlfriend and I got in bed last night, she was on her phone for over an hour. I was trying to be affectionate. “In a minute. I’m on Snapchat.” Then it was “I’m on Facebook.” In the end, I rolled over and went to sleep. I feel like I’m […]
How Do I Keep Loving Someone Who Does Not Love Me?
Dear Neil: My husband doesn’t say that being at home with me and our children is what stands in the way of his happiness, but it’s obvious that he feels that we are interfering with his ability of having a much more successful musical career. It’s clear he doesn’t feel the same about me anymore, […]
Unequal Relationships: When One Person is Trying Harder Than the Other
Dear Neil: I am very much in love with this man who lost his wife to suicide 5 years ago. We have had a long distance relationship the past 2 years (he lives in Libya, I live in Malta). He has finally started talking about his guilt feelings relating to his wife’s death. His moods […]
Keeping Your Relationship Intact When You’re Going Through a Crisis
Anytime we go through a genuine crisis, our intimate relationships with other people—your spouse or sweetheart, children, family and friends—are affected. Whether those relationships help us through the crisis, or instead go down in flames depends on a host of factors, most of which are within our control. People in crisis find it difficult to […]
Man Letting his Daughter Destroy his Relationship
Dear Neil: My partner of five years has three children from his previous marriage. The eldest is his only daughter, and she is recently married and now has a son. Her mission, for our entire relationship, has been to split us up, just as she has split up his previous relationships since his divorce. She […]
Reader Asks: What Should I Do When I’m Starving for Time and Attention?
Dear Neil: I am very bored and lonely. This is a problem—because I am in a relationship. We have been together 10 years, and we share the same house. He says it’s not fair for me to expect him to spend time with me. He has things to do and can’t get them done if […]
Is There Anything I Can Do to Become a Higher Priority?
Dear Neil: I am a 69 year old successful, affluent business woman. My boyfriend of ten years is 55, and much less successful and affluent. He has twin daughters, age 21, who he dotes over and will do anything for. But they don’t want their father to have a girlfriend. He lives in my house […]
Divided Loyalties Threaten Relationship
Dear Neil: I find it nearly impossible to keep from criticizing my boyfriend’s parents, religion and upbringing. His parents, in particular, have done things which have either hurt me, or seem immature and selfish. Having said that, they are kind and friendly with me. My boyfriend is incredibly loyal and admires them, which makes my […]