In a conflict with your mate, have you ever been flooded with anger? When you get flooded, you feel emotionally and physically overwhelmed. Most likely you think thoughts of righteous indignation (“I don’t have to take this anymore”) or innocent victimhood (“Why is s/he always picking on me?”) Meanwhile, your heart is pounding, you’re reactive […]
Quiz: Determine Your Level of Relationship Satisfaction
Take this quiz to determine how satisfied you are in your intimate relationship. For each of the 16 relationship traits listed below, rate each trait from the following two scales. SATISFACTION SCALE: How satisfied are you with each of these aspects of your relationship? 5: Enthusiastic—it couldn’t be any better 4: Quite satisfied 3: It’s […]
Quiz: How Critical Are You?
Note: This is the first of a three-part series. Dear Neil: My boyfriend accuses me of being a critical person. I admit I complain from time to time about things that bother or disturb me about him, but I don’t think that I am that critical of him overall. Is there a way to tell […]
Quiz: Are You Walled Off?
Do you have a guarded heart? Do you have a wall around your heart that prohibits genuine intimacy, even with the people you love and feel closest to? Take this quiz to find out: Do you get angry a lot with your mate, even over small things? Do you tend to be mistrusting, only to […]
Quiz: Before You Marry
If you are planning on being married, and would like to know your fiancee‚ better—or build more intimacy into your relationship—address the following questions with each other: What are some of your life’s dreams? How did your parents treat you when you were young? How well did you get along with your parents? Growing up, […]
Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Men and Affairs?
How much do you know about infidelity and men? Take this quiz and find out. Answer all questions true or false. Answers are below. It is in men’s natures to want other sexual partners. No harm is done to a relationship if your partner doesn’t find out about your sexual adventures. A man doing poorly […]
What Grade Would You Give Your Relationship?
Everyone wants to be in love, stay in love, and live a fun, passionate, fulfilling and meaningful life. We begin our relationships full of hope. We begin our marriages by vowing our best. We all feel that our relationships are special, different and unique. And they are. So says Gregory J. P. Godek in the […]
Quiz: Talking to Each Other
Couples Communication These are more couple communication exercises taken from Bonnie Sose’s book Talk to Me. To get the most out this exercise, allow each person to answer the same question before you go on to the next question. How is your mate unique? What needs of yours does your mate fulfill? Can you remember a […]
Quiz: Communicating
Talking to Each Other So frequently do marriage therapists—including myself—hear couples complain that they don’t communicate well, that I thought I would offer an exercise for those couples who would like to improve the quality of communication in their relationship. These questions are taken from Bonnie Sose’s book “Talk to Me“. Name seven specific things […]
Quiz: Evaluating Your Relationship
This inventory offers you an opportunity to be more objective in looking at a current or previous relationship. It is not a scientifically validated questionnaire, but a guide based on my observations about what’s important in a relationship—and about what gets intimate relationships in trouble. If you are doing this as a couple, score this […]