By far the most common complaint marriage counselors hear is the statement: “We can’t communicate.” There are many reasons why communication stops or becomes superficial and brittle, including poor conflict resolution, problem solving, compromising and negotiating skills; withholding information; keeping secrets from each other and becoming defensive—to name a few. But one of the most […]
How self-conscious are you? Take this quiz to find out. After each question, mark: Disagree, Somewhat agree, or Strongly agree.
1. When talking with strangers, I tend to avoid looking at them in the eyes.
Dear Neil: I’ve heard many people in recent years talk about bipolar disorder. They say that they have a child who is bipolar, or a husband, or a boss. I have never exactly understood what bipolar is. Can you explain what it means to be bipolar? Thinking I Might Be in Kansas City Dear Kansas […]
We all want to do our best. Nothing wrong with that, is there? Well, yes and no. It’s healthy for all of us to do our best because we can feel pride in our skills, our knowledge, our competence and our mastery. But it’s not so good to be a perfectionist, because then we are […]
It was not so long ago that a large number of people thought something was wrong with those who didn’t partner up and get married. Such people were thought of as selfish, tied to their mothers’ apron strings or grossly unappealing. Either way, they were thought of in negative terms, and were not viewed as […]
Do you think you are controlling? Do other people tell you that you are too controlling? Do your relationships have a history of control issues or power struggles? Have lovers and/or spouses objected to you making important decisions without them? Do you take charge of the money in your household and demand explanations for expenditures […]
Empathy is the ability to feel the emotions of someone else. It describes how well we identify with other people’s pain, fears, desires, feelings and experiences. It is the one trait that most links humans together. It makes me have compassion for what has befallen you, it allows you to feel excited by my success, […]
The most common primary responses to stress, anger, criticism or rejection are: fight, flight, freeze and faint. At various times you may have experienced all of these responses, but most of us have a predominant style. Take the following quiz to determine which style you most commonly use, courtesy of Cynthia Wall in her book […]
Intentionally or not, might you employ sabotaging behaviors in your intimate relationships? Take this quiz to find out. Rate your answers on a scale from 1 to 5, in which 1 = never; 2 = sometimes; 3 = half the time; 4 = often, and 5 = always. This quiz is courtesy of Randi Gunther […]
Are you hooked on approval? Read each statement below. Circle “T” if the statement is true or mostly true, or circle “F” if the statement is false or mostly false. If someone disapproves of me, I feel like I’m not very worthwhile. T F It’s extremely important to be liked by nearly everyone in my […]