Dear Neil: I am a pretty religious man, and I believe that I should operate by the highest standards and principles. But I don’t always do it. On a couple of occasions, I have been unfaithful to my wife, skipped my son’s baseball games with the excuse that I had to work, and I don’t […]
Integrity is Within Your Control
Dear Neil: I am having an extramarital affair, and I am wondering where integrity fits into the picture for me. Could you address the subject of integrity? Unfaithful in Atlanta, Georgia Dear Unfaithful: Integrity combines our ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs and behavior. When our behavior matches our values, when our ideals and our actions are […]
Guarded Heart
Being willing to risk hurt is key to deepening a relationship Dear Neil: I am an attractive, single professional woman in my early 40’s. I have a good figure, no children. I have been divorced for ten years and have dated a lot of different men. So why am I still single? My relationships with […]
Repeating the Familiar
Parent’s Marriage Becomes The Role Model for Their Children’s Marriages Dear Neil: I am sorry to report that my marriage was as dysfunctional as any. My husband used to bad mouth me in front of the children, and after we had been married seventeen years, I started cheating on him. My daughter figured it out. […]
Confronting Your Past
It Is Possible To Change Your Relationship Patterns Dear Neil: Recently I lost my job of nine years, my beautiful home, my cat, my possessions, and my boyfriend of four years dumped me. They say time heals all wounds, but I wonder about some of the scars that are on my heart. When I was […]
Sitting on the Fence Just Keeps You Stuck
Dear Neil: I am in a four year relationship with a woman I live with, but have been unwilling to commit to. She isn’t the kind of person I thought I’d permanently wind up with. She isn’t a college educated professional. She doesn’t communicate well, and she is extremely emotional. But she is caring, sensitive […]
Don’t Settle For Poor Treatment From Husband
Escalating The Emotions in Your Marriage Dear Neil: My husband thinks that once every month or two is often enough for sex. He told me he was “getting older” (mid-40’s) and that it was normal for a man to lose interest at that age. I found out quite by accident that he hasn’t lost interest, […]
Understanding Your Father
Dear Neil: My childhood was made a misery by a violent father with a terrible temper. He never showed me any love, warmth or interest. He never spoke to me as a human being. Now that I am a grown women, I cannot relax around him or even look him in the eye, because I […]
Forgiveness Permits Us To Release The Past
When was the last time you forgave someone who hurt you? Forgiveness means to grant pardon without resentment. It is experienced intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Forgiveness is a key to happiness and well-being, because it releases the anger, hurt, bitterness, pain, fear and even sometimes the illnesses that we carry around. One of the reasons […]
Healing Childhood
Letting Go of the Past If you are afraid of closeness or intimacy, who are you going to pick to be in a relationship with? You’re going to pick someone who is impossible to get close to, someone who is unemotional, non-communicative, or who is emotionally withdrawn and distant. They may be tuned in to […]