As we approach father’s day, it might be useful for you to look at how your relationship with your father has affected your life. Although mothers get much of the credit for raising and nurturing kids, don’t fool yourself about the importance of your father. Whether he’s alive or dead, his influence has been extremely […]
Dear Neil: Our English class would be deeply indebted to you if would tell us exactly how to forgive those who have hurt us. Rarely do we receive pointers as to how to forgive. Seeking in London, Ontario Dear Seeking: The decision to forgive arises out of the desire for us to be at peace […]
Imagine if you could go back in time and meet the younger you – the you of 20 years ago (or 30 or 40 years ago, depending on your age.) Let’s say that the you of today could advise the younger you. What advice would you give? I know, the dye already has been cast […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Here are a series of questions designed to assist you in evaluating how you feel about your mother. These questions come courtesy of Jasmin Lee Cori in her book The Emotionally Absent Mother (The Experiment Publications). Even if your mother is no […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: My issue is to try to understand the negative feelings I have toward my mother and how to best let them go. I constantly find myself annoyed with anything she suggests. Often she begins with “you should,” which immediately […]
Dear Neil: I married the distant/critical type and had to get divorced. I am currently dating the loving/approving type, but I occasionally find myself being distant and critical with him. What do I do to stop the cycle and not drive the good man away? Christchurch, New Zealand Dear Neil: I’ve been married 23 years […]
Dear Neil: Twenty-five years ago, I had a four-year relationship with a woman that ended badly. But ever since then, I’ve had dreams of reconnecting with her. So at the time of my recent divorce, I contacted her, told her of my desire for her, and invited her to get together again. She said that […]
Note: This is second of a two-part series. We have this notion that our parents were born as adults. Frequently, people believe their parents were in charge of themselves when they had children, that their parents knew what they were doing—and that however they behaved around their children, they did so intentionally. If you harbor […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: My ex-husband was emotionally unavailable. After 20 years of marriage, I called it quits. But he has also been emotionally unavailable to our children. Will this affect their intimate relationships? And will this get passed on to their children? Doubly Hurt in Wellington, New […]
Dear Neil: My wife and I have been reading your recent three-part series about how people block themselves from giving and receiving love. It has spoken closely to our situation. At conception, my wife was unwanted by her mother. This translated to her forming strong and mystifying barriers to me. These barriers have refused all […]