Perhaps it starts with you losing your sense of engagement with your work, your children or your vital relationships. Perhaps it is because you have too many distractions—increasingly electronic postings, emails, texts or phone calls. Perhaps it is because you have too many demands and responsibilities, and not enough time to do everything you need […]
A month ago, I invited readers to write about the lessons life has taught them. Of the many email replies I received—lots of which were from people in their 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s—I will reprint as many as I can. Today, I will record the readers talking about overcoming obstacles. In a future column, […]
Dear Neil: Could you address how to rebuild trust after an affair? Reader From New Zealand Dear New Zealand: What we actually mean when we say “I need to be able to trust you again” is really “I need to feel safe around you again.” So rebuilding trust is akin to restoring the feeling that […]
How do you raise a boy to be a good man? Here are my suggestions about how especially dads can teach their boys about how to become fine men. A mother may teach and model the same things, but boys are more likely to model their dads. Treat everyone with respect. Be a gentleman and […]
Dear Neil: I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months. He is everything I want in a man, but I keep pushing him away. I’m wondering if it’s because of my past. I was physically and sexually abused as a child, and my ex was a bully who was controlling and violent, and […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Here are some of the lessons that life has taught me: Have something to look forward to. Always have some goal, challenge or adventure in front of you that interests or excites. Sometimes we need to be reminded that our lives […]
If you were given the opportunity to return to your 15-year old self, would you? Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Most of us wouldn’t, even if we would love to replay certain choices or experiences with what we now know. Because growing older teaches us about […]
Dear Neil: What would cause my husband and I to quit having sex with each other? We haven’t had sex for years, but we’re young and vital enough, so why would we quit? Neither of us are having sex with anyone else, either. Not Getting Any in California Dear Not Getting Any: I have no […]
Dear Neil: My wife is beyond obsessed with her iPhone. It is 24/7 with Facebook, video games and messaging apps, and she clearly prefers her phone to spending time with me and the kids. I assume she is downstairs with the kids, but when I go downstairs the kids are getting into all sorts of […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Do you have a pattern of choosing an emotionally unavailable intimate partner—a person exceedingly difficult to get close to, someone who is emotionally protected, insulated or standoffish—while rejecting the people who are available, caring, responsive and who are easy to be […]