Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Here are more suggestions for letting go of your hurts and resents in order to forgive: Look at the person who offended you apart from the offense, weighing the good against the bad. When somebody hurts you, it’s normal to have negative feelings about that person. […]
How to Forgive Husband’s Betrayal
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: My husband slept with one of our business customers 18 months ago. I found out, and my life just hasn’t been the same since. I have tried to put it behind me, but I just can’t get the betrayal out of my head. To […]
How Do I Stop Pushing My Boyfriend Away?
Dear Neil: I am hoping that you can help me get a grip on my inability to trust—before I push away my boyfriend once and for all. It seems as though I conjure up reasons to fear that he is not devoted to me, and then I become extremely anxious, panicky and explosive. So anxious, […]
Man Asks: “Do Platonic Female Friends Threaten a Relationship?”
Dear Neil: What is the best way for a man in a new relationship to manage old platonic female friends of the opposite sex? I have just made a major blunder and destroyed my new lady’s trust by taking an old platonic female friend to a movie when my lady could not attend. I was […]
I Don’t Know How to Trust People
Dear Neil: I am 43 years-old and have never been married. I have a college degree, am adventurous and fun. But I don’t know how to trust people and allow my defenses to come down. I couldn’t trust my parents. My first boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, and I have a history […]
Boyfriend’s Accusations Cover His Deception
Dear Neil: In October of 2003, I found a phone number that I knew was a woman my boyfriend of five years had been intimate with before we met. When I confronted him, he became very angry and would not answer as to how he’d obtained the number. I know that he visited her the […]
Can a Pattern of Infidelity be Broken?
Dear Neil: Please discuss the issue of infidelity within a committed relationship. Why do people do it, why is it often more men that do it than women, and can a pattern of repeat infidelity be broken? Curious in Wellington, New Zealand Dear Curious: Researchers don’t have reliable statistics on how many women are unfaithful, […]
Inability to Trust Leads to Failed Relationships
Note: this is the second of a two-part series. If you grew up in an environment where you were made to feel inadequate, insecure and afraid to trust, you likely have a difficult time in adulthood with your ability to love and to be loved. You will, more than likely, develop a fear of being […]
“I’m Very Independent” Often Relates to Low Trust
Note: this is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: What does it mean when my girlfriend says she is very independent, fears being controlled and doesn’t trust easily? Isn’t the idea of being in an adult relationship for both people to trust, rely on and depend on each other? Feeling Pushed Away in Westminster, Colorado […]
How Can I Recapture a Woman After I Jilted Her?
Dear Neil: I have recently ended an 11 month relationship. I thought I didn’t love her, yet now I have the overwhelming urge to have her back in my life. I realize that I was blocking out love, and that I had never tried to open my heart to her. She took the breakup quite […]