Dear Neil: About four years ago I was working out of town. Over the two weeks I was away, my wife had a brief romantic fling. Except she lied about it, telling me they were only friends. However, the younger kids told me of a night when Mommy wasn’t home at 1:45 a.m, and they […]
How Do I Earn Back Trust?
Dear Neil: I was dating the most wonderful girl in the world. The only girl who I have thought about being with for the rest of my life. She was the best thing that ever happened to me—and I cheated on her. I don’t know why I cheated, but I did. I am twenty-three and […]
Signs Your Mate is Cheating on You
Some months ago I printed in this space a list of ways to tell if your mate is being unfaithful to you. Here are some additional telltale signs of possible infidelity not covered in my previous column: Your mate often comes home late, is frequently having vehicle troubles or has frequent unexplained absences. Your mate […]
Philandering Husband Compelled to Stray
Dear Neil: I’ve been married for 19 years and have three children. My husband has been unfaithful for most of our married life. I was going to divorce him four years ago, but he came chasing after me when he realized it wasn’t going to work with his flame. I took him back and stopped […]
Restoring Trust After a Betrayal
Dear Neil: When one partner has had an affair and betrayed the trust in a relationship, how can this trust be restored? Hurting in Wellington, New Zealand Dear Hurting: Although people often say “Forgive and forget,” I have found that is impossible to do. You are not going to forget. You can forgive another person’s […]
Telltale Signs of Infidelity
Dear Neil: I strongly sense my husband is having an affair. For the past five years he has not been intimate with me, saying he has no sexual desire. But now out of the blue his sexual desire has returned. My gut says he’s been unfaithful, but I need to know definitely. Some years ago […]
Trusting Yourself Again is Key to Getting Beyond Betrayal
Dear Neil: I was blindsided by my ex-husband. He fell in love with another woman while I thought we were happily married. The day after we divorced four years ago, he married her. Since then, I haven’t been willing to get really close to another man, fearing the same thing would happen again. Could you […]
Trust and Betrayal 2
The subject is about trust and betrayal, and three different readers illustrate the point. A woman from Brookfield, Wisconsin writes: “Please address how long it takes to get over the betrayal of a spouse after 21 years of marriage. He left me for another woman.” Sheila T. from Denver wrote in to ask: “There have […]
Healing an Infidelity
If I were Bill and Hillary Clinton’s marriage therapist, here are some suggestions I would offer them for how to heal their marriage after infidelity: For the betrayer, some questions to expect: Who? Where? How long? Where and when did you meet? Do you love this other person? Who else knows? Do you still love […]
Woman Having a Hard Time Handling Husband’s Infidelity
Dear Neil: When I was two months pregnant, I found out that my husband of six years had been unfaithful with at least three different women that I know of. I was going to take my son and leave him, but two days later I had a miscarriage. I felt like I really needed him […]