Dear Neil: What is maturity? Are there certain behaviors that comprise maturity? Are there certain skills that compromise maturity in a marriage or a relationship? My husband says I don’t act with maturity, but I’m in my 60’s and have thought of myself as a mature person for years. Trying To Understand in London, England […]
10 Secrets to Succeeding with Your New Year’s Resolutions
So it’s New Years already, and you haven’t lost the weight you’d committed yourself to losing. You still haven’t straightened out the mess in the basement or gone through your piles of paper that clutter up the place like you promised yourself you would. And you’re still not exercising like you keep saying you need […]
Who Were You 20 Years Ago?
Dear Neil: I am 59 years old, and am told by my oncologist that because of my inoperable liver cancer I have at best only a few more weeks to live. I am trying to sort through the clutter of my life so I can die with a sense of inner peace and contentment. Do […]
What Are Your Enduring Vulnerabilities?
Dear Neil: My wife “Sherry” and I have been married 29 years. We have gone through a huge number of hurts and disappointments that have left both of us feeling vulnerable. What can be done to overcome past emotional injuries so they don’t harm the quality of intimacy and closeness in our marriage? Wounded In […]
What’s Draining You?
Have you ever noticed what happens when you keep pursuing a business that refuses to succeed? When you hang onto items that a represent a failed relationship or old financial problems, or piles of things to do or things to file that you never get to? These items are huge energy drains that can keep […]
Keeping Your Spirits Up When You’re Feeling Vulnerable and Fearful
Dear Readers: In light of the recent New York City and Washington D.C. terrorist attacks, millions of people are experiencing pain, fear, threat and an alarmingly heightened sense of vulnerability. If you have those emotions, here are a variety of things you can do to keep your spirits high and your fear lower: Stay with […]
Being Emotionally Intelligent is About Mastering People Skills
Dear Neil: I am a high school senior, straight “A” student, and I consistently test very high on IQ scores. But I am struggling socially—with girls and with other guys. Girls don’t seem to like me, and guys avoid me and think I’m “nerdy.” How can I excel so well academically and still feel so […]
Criticism Can Carrode Your Relationship
NOTE: THIS IS THE 2ND OF A TWO-PART SERIES Few couples can completely avoid criticizing each other now and then, even in healthy marriages. The trouble begins if you feel that your complaints go unheeded, and your spouse just repeats the offending habits. Or, perhaps you never clearly expressed your concerns, or you don’t express […]
Quiz: How Critical Are You?
Note: This is the first of a three-part series. Dear Neil: My boyfriend accuses me of being a critical person. I admit I complain from time to time about things that bother or disturb me about him, but I don’t think that I am that critical of him overall. Is there a way to tell […]
Owning Your Shadow
NOTE: THIS IS THE SECOND OF A TWO-PART SERIES Consider the following scenario: you have unexpected houseguests that stay longer than their welcome, and leave a big mess, and some broken furniture. If you don’t do something to acknowledge and clear out the negative energy that your guests generate in you, you will be far […]