Dear Neil: My fiancé and I are fighting a lot with each other, and that’s thrown our wedding—scheduled for later this year—into serious question. Is there a secret for how to know if we can be compatible with each other? We have a lot of common interests and similar tastes in music, Italian food and […]
Making an Apology
Dear Neil: I think I owe my boyfriend an apology for repeatedly getting angry with him, being demanding and selfish, insulting him and generally treating him poorly. I’ve never been very good at apologizing to people—it makes me feel weak, bad and full of shame. How do I apologize to him effectively? Fearful in Vail, […]
Quiz: How Comfortable Are You in Receiving Love?
Note: This is the first of a three-part series. Below are questions designed to help you discover how comfortable you are in receiving love. Rank each item with S for “sometimes,” O for “often,” or R for “rarely” or N for “never.” ___ Do you feel uncomfortable when somebody brags about you? ___ Do you […]
Quiz: Is There Love and Respect in Your Relationship?
Is there enough love and respect in your intimate relationship? Do you and your partner show each other empathy, support, care, affection, friendship, sympathy and love? How do you express such emotions, how is that expression received by your partner, and where could you improve in the ways that you express love and respect? Take […]
We Broadcast to People How They May Treat Us
Dear Neil: I am a 41-year-old woman. A year ago I met a man of 51 who has never been married. We have a lot of common interests and enjoy being with each other. But things have happened that have set off warning bells for me. First, he told me he has enough money to […]
Making it Safe to be in a Relationship With You
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Think about the many moments in a relationship when your partner lets down his or her guard and exposes a soft spot. Perhaps it is when he is scrutinizing his bald spot in the mirror and looking forlorn. Perhaps it is when she has removed her […]
Spiritual Intimacy Requires a Deep Connection
Dear Neil: Would you discuss the question of spiritual intimacy. What is it? How do you attain it? Why don’t more people have it? We are two friends with a bet. One of us says that, although rare, it’s attainable. The other says it doesn’t exist. Your answer will decide who buys dinner. QuestioningLongmont, Colorado […]
How Intimate Do You Want to Be?
On a scale from 1 (low) to 10 (high), choose a number that represents how much closeness you’re comfortable with in an intimate relationship. Many people are less than completely honest about this issue. They want closeness and intimacy, but not too much of it, not all the time and only in certain times and […]
Falling in Love Requires You Offering Your Heart
Dear Neil: In the past few years, I have had several different relationships with me that seem to follow the same pattern. The man is hot, and the relationship starts out with great interest, enthusiasm, hope, chemistry and passion. But after awhile, I seem to lose that enthusiasm and begin to notice a variety of […]
How Do I Let The Past Go?
Dear Neil: About four years ago I was working out of town. Over the two weeks I was away, my wife had a brief romantic fling. Except she lied about it, telling me they were only friends. However, the younger kids told me of a night when Mommy wasn’t home at 1:45 a.m, and they […]