When was the last time you forgave someone who hurt you? Forgiveness means to grant pardon without resentment. It is experienced intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Forgiveness is a key to happiness and well-being, because it releases the anger, hurt, bitterness, pain, fear and even sometimes the illnesses that we carry around. One of the reasons […]
Disconnected and Detached
Do people accuse you of being cold or withdrawn? Are you detached from your relationships? When you are disconnected and detached from other people: Your work is your reason for living. It’s what really counts in your life. All of your spare time goes into projects related to your work, or your other interests and […]
Lust
Ask people the importance of chemistry and lust to the health and well being of their intimate relationship, and they definitely have strongly held attitudes and opinions about the subject. Several thousand readers from around the world responded to the question posed in this column, “How important is lust, chemistry and sexual attraction to a […]
Unequal Intimate Relationships are Difficult to Feel Good About
“What would you recommend I do about a girlfriend I live with who has stopped contributing to our relationship, and is no longer making any effort?” writes Paul P. from San Francisco. “Although she seems to be functioning normally at work and socially, the past two years she has progressively quit pulling her share of […]
Better Than Nothing Relationships
Dear Neil: Since my divorce three years ago, I have been involved in several relationships that have never gotten off the ground. One of these relationships was with a women I didn’t find very attractive, and I never developed much interest in being with her. We broke up after four months, and I never really […]
Overfunctioning/Underfunctioning Relationships
Are you a well functioning and responsible person living with someone who is barely functional and irresponsible? Are you someone who does too much, married to someone who does too little? If so, you may be in an “overfunctioning/underfunctioning” relationship. Roberta Gilbert, in the book Extraordinary Relationships defines a person as overfunctioning when they’re doing things […]
Back and Forth Relationships
The Leave/Come Back/Leave Relationship Last year things began to change drastically in my three-and-a-half-year relationship. We had made plans to get married when suddenly he stopped treating me with the respect he always had, he was angry, blamed me for things, told me he needed time to himself to sort things out, rented a place […]
Turn Ons
When You’re Not in the Mood How do you handle it when you are in a committed, monogamous relationship, and you want sex more frequently than your mate does? Let’s say you’ve tried everything in order to help your mate increase his/her libido: endearments, a lot of nurturing and tender loving care, plenty of affection […]
Wanting More
Different Sexual Appetites “I want a good relationship with my wife, but she sexually rejects me so frequently that it stops me from having a good relationship with her,” writes Kenneth S., from Dallas. “So often she’s tired, not in the mood, has a headache, or is otherwise unavailable for sex. I want sex two […]
Differing Drives Can Cause Problems
Two letters illustrate the dilemma: “I”m 43-years-old and married to the same good man for twenty three years,” writes a woman from Staten Island, New York. “My husband sees sex as a nightly habit necessary to a good night’s sleep. It is rare for him to get into bed and just want to go to […]