Dear Neil: My childhood was made a misery by a violent father with a terrible temper. He never showed me any love, warmth or interest. He never spoke to me as a human being. Now that I am a grown women, I cannot relax around him or even look him in the eye, because I […]
Overweight and Lonely
What’s A Middle Aged Woman To Do Dear Neil: I am a middle aged female, professional and good-looking. I am a lot of fun and have a variety of interests. Middle age has caught up with me also, so I am a few pounds overweight, but not obese. What I have found is that since […]
Doing Without
Being Chaste and Married is No Fun Dear Neil: My husband and I haven’t had sex for six years now. We have been married for twenty two years, and he began to lose interest in sex two or three years after we got married. I am an attractive women and being rejected sexually has been […]
What Makes Love Last?
What Happy Couples Do That The Rest of Us Don’t What is the difference between happy and unhappy couples? What do happy couples do to make their love last longer? What secrets do happily married people know that the rest of us haven’t figured out yet? “There are couples who remain deeply in love for […]
Overcoming Emotional Distance
Being More Emotionally Open and Available Dear Neil: I would appreciate very much if you would offer some recommendations on how I could overcome being emotionally distant. Distant in Oceanside, California Dear Distant: Here are several ideas: Examine your feelings about not feeling worthy of a close relationship; your fears that if your partner really gets […]
Betrayal and Integrity: Surviving The Lost of Trust
Dear Neil: I’ve been married for just about a year. Through that year, my husband has had an affair. He has denied the entire thing, but there is just too much evidence. In a two year span, I have gone through a divorce (married twelve years), met my current husband, got pregnant by him, and […]
Forgiveness Permits Us To Release The Past
When was the last time you forgave someone who hurt you? Forgiveness means to grant pardon without resentment. It is experienced intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Forgiveness is a key to happiness and well-being, because it releases the anger, hurt, bitterness, pain, fear and even sometimes the illnesses that we carry around. One of the reasons […]
Disconnected and Detached
Do people accuse you of being cold or withdrawn? Are you detached from your relationships? When you are disconnected and detached from other people: Your work is your reason for living. It’s what really counts in your life. All of your spare time goes into projects related to your work, or your other interests and […]
Lust
Ask people the importance of chemistry and lust to the health and well being of their intimate relationship, and they definitely have strongly held attitudes and opinions about the subject. Several thousand readers from around the world responded to the question posed in this column, “How important is lust, chemistry and sexual attraction to a […]
Unequal Intimate Relationships are Difficult to Feel Good About
“What would you recommend I do about a girlfriend I live with who has stopped contributing to our relationship, and is no longer making any effort?” writes Paul P. from San Francisco. “Although she seems to be functioning normally at work and socially, the past two years she has progressively quit pulling her share of […]