Dear Neil: I am in a new relationship—four weeks long only. I am female, 34, separated, very attractive and I have a good job. A month ago I got to chatting with a gorgeous man at a bar. He swept me off my feet, and it took one date before we were absolutely obsessed with […]
Being Your Own Hero
Do you have it in you to be a hero? Heroes face some predictable obstacles. They go on quests to meet a goal or a challenge. They encounter seemingly insurmountable obstacles and setbacks. They are confronted with their own demons, they struggle with their limitations and they’re forced to learn how to harness their own […]
Divided Loyalties Threaten Relationship
Dear Neil: I find it nearly impossible to keep from criticizing my boyfriend’s parents, religion and upbringing. His parents, in particular, have done things which have either hurt me, or seem immature and selfish. Having said that, they are kind and friendly with me. My boyfriend is incredibly loyal and admires them, which makes my […]
Romancing The Stone
Dear Neil: I have a boyfriend who I think of as my soul mate, and I love him dearly. The problem is that he rarely calls me, rarely has time to get together, rarely invites me out to dinner(or to other forms of entertainment), and seldom is endearing or romantic toward me. He is preoccupied […]
How to Destroy Your Relationship
Through the years as a marriage therapist, I have been asked a countless number of times: “We were so wild about each other. So much in love. So passionate. How could we have possibly grown this cold and distant from each other?” There are a variety of answers to the above question. Below are the […]
How to Tell If Widower Is Ready for a Relationship
Dear Neil: I started dating someone about three weeks ago. His wife died four years ago after 22 years of marriage. For his daughter’s sake, he still has some photos around the house, the majority of which are unobtrusive. He does, however, have a rather large photo of himself with his wife and daughter over […]
I Don’t Know How to Trust People
Dear Neil: I am 43 years-old and have never been married. I have a college degree, am adventurous and fun. But I don’t know how to trust people and allow my defenses to come down. I couldn’t trust my parents. My first boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, and I have a history […]
Boyfriend’s Accusations Cover His Deception
Dear Neil: In October of 2003, I found a phone number that I knew was a woman my boyfriend of five years had been intimate with before we met. When I confronted him, he became very angry and would not answer as to how he’d obtained the number. I know that he visited her the […]
Same Sex Relationships Have More Complications
Dear Neil: Our grown son has recently disclosed to us that he is gay, and that he is in love with another man. He has asked for our support and our advice about how to make their relationship permanent. We don’t have experience with same sex partnerships, and therefore would be grateful if you would […]
The “Secrets” of Compatability
Dear Neil: My fiancé and I are fighting a lot with each other, and that’s thrown our wedding—scheduled for later this year—into serious question. Is there a secret for how to know if we can be compatible with each other? We have a lot of common interests and similar tastes in music, Italian food and […]