“Oh you poor victim. Quit being a martyr. Next thing that’s going to happen is you’re going to get nailed on a cross.” Has anyone said something like that to you? If so, you may be occasionally playing victim—or adopting a victim mentality. Most people have done so from time to time. But the difference […]
If you wish to have a “happily ever after” relationship, here are a series of intimacy skills that you will need: Treat your your spouse/partner with kindness and friendliness, and afford him/her the benefit of doubt. Be true to your word, clarify the limits of what you can do, and respect differences. (Frequently we want to […]
Dear Neil: When we wake up in the morning, the first thing my girlfriend does is get on her phone, and she’s gone for an hour or two. At nighttime when we get into bed, she spends 2-3 hours checking Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat. She doesn’t say a word to me while she does this. […]
Dear Neil: I manifested the man of my dreams. He’s kind, honest, loyal, humble, patient, hard-working, ambitious, extremely supportive and he loves me. He told me he wants to marry and have kids with me. I fell for him head over heels. But shortly after that I freaked and wanted to run away, and I’m […]
Dear Neil: I had been pursuing a woman for a couple of months, and we ended up dating for a while after that. It never got very serious, and in the end she let me know that she wasn’t looking for anything romantic with me. I was upset, but she was fair and direct about […]
My wife and I recently adopted a puppy who is now 10 weeks old. She is teething on everything—especially my hands and arms, which are obviously far more fascinating than than all the teething toys, chew sticks, fluffy squeak toys and assorted other puppy gadgets and playthings. Since her teeth are very sharp, I have […]
Dear Neil: I am a married sex-starved woman. Although I think my husband loves me, he does not act as if he desires me. He doesn’t approach me sexually, and he is always too tired or not in the mood when I approach him. This has gone on for years, but has gotten progressively worse […]
Do you interrupt people a lot? Do loved ones complain that you chime in by cutting them off in conversation? All of us cut into a conversation sometimes, and some interruptions can be helpful or clarifying. You may have an important correction to make, you may have information to add that the other person doesn’t […]
It’s 9 a.m. and I’m on a deadline to get my column written and sent to the newspaper. I am researching a new topic, and it’s very time consuming. During my research the phone rings and I get tied up in a 40-minute call. Getting back to my column, a news alert comes in on […]
Here are some of the most common reasons why people have a hard time finding or keeping a love relationship: You’re too focused on work, your children, sports or your routines. This means that you may not be carving out enough time and energy in order to focus on searching for a love relationship, or […]