Recognizing verbal abuse is emotionally painful. It has to do with loss—the loss of illusion—and it is hurtful to the spirit. If you suffer from verbal abuse in your relationship, or suspect that you do, these are some steps you can take: Start setting limits.. Setting a limit is stating “I will not accept…” When […]
Verbally Abusive Relationships Are About Controlling Others
Are you in a relationship with someone who seems irritated or angry with you a great deal of the time? Where mistrust and ill will seems to prevail? Where you feel controlled or manipulated to such a degree that you do not feel in control of your own direction? If so, you may be in […]
“Porcupine” Spouses Hard to Communicate With
Some people are like a walled-off garden. There is something beautiful inside them, but for some reason the beauty has been locked away….hidden behind a seemingly insurmountable wall. Let’s call these non-communicators “porcupines.” Porcupines don’t want to interact with other animals. They just want to be left alone. If you watch a curious young dog […]
Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Men and Affairs?
How much do you know about infidelity and men? Take this quiz and find out. Answer all questions true or false. Answers are below. It is in men’s natures to want other sexual partners. No harm is done to a relationship if your partner doesn’t find out about your sexual adventures. A man doing poorly […]
Resolving Money ConflictsResolving Money Conflicts Well
Do you tend to believe that money leads to happiness, fulfillment, contentment? Do you buy things for yourself or others regardless of whether you have enough money to pay for these purchases? When you feel deprived or unloved, does buying yourself something seem like your first recourse? Do you often think wistfully about all the […]
Power Struggles Over Money Threaten Relationship
Dear Neil: My husband and I are in a sharp disagreement about how to handle money. We both work full time, but he brings in considerably more income than I do. Because he earns more and supports us, he feels he should be able to decide how and where our money is spent. This has […]
Why Are Men That Way?
Dear Neil: What is wrong with men? Why are they so aloof and un-giving, so emotionally repressed and independent? No wonder I can’t find a good man to have a tender and passionate relationship with. There aren’t any good men. Flustrated in Vancouver, British Columbia Dear Flustrated: Twenty five years ago, few men were sensitive […]
Reconnect and Re-Engage With Spouse
Dear Neil: I’m writing in response to your recent column on “approach-avoidance” behavior. I am a victim of this behavior, because I find intimate relationships painful. I feel torn by two feelings. Part of me wants to be close and loved, and the other part of me just wants to be left alone. I’ve been […]
Rape Victim Having a Hard Time Trusting Again
Dear Neil: I feel as if my whole life has been ruined because I was gang raped as a teenager. I have never received counseling for this, and I have never confided in anyone about it. Now at 35, I go to extraordinary lengths to place obstacles in the way—and run away from—anyone who shows […]
Impotence Can be Treated
Dear Neil: About a year ago I began having problems in getting an erection. Also, while making love, I have begun to go soft. I went to a doctor who gave me some medicine, but it didn’t help. He told me that I may have to have some tests done. What would you suggest? Lexington, […]