Dear Neil: I would like to cure my narcissism, but I don’t know where to start. Can you help? Unsure of What To Do Dear Unsure: Let’s say your intimate partner says she isn’t feeling valued […]
Changing Narcissistic Behaviors
Husband Admits to Having Sex With Other Men! What Do I Do?
Dear Neil: My husband of 15 years has just told me of his active bisexuality. He has been having sexual liaisons for the whole of our marriage, and tells me that 80% of the men he has sex with are heterosexual, in stable relationships, and with no intentions of leaving their partners/wives/families—or of revealing their […]
What Do I Do About My Abusive Husband?
Dear Neil: Can counseling help a situation such as ours? My marriage from the start has involved verbal, emotional, mental and at times physical abuse. Police have been involved several times. In the most recent incident, where things got somewhat physical, I left the home. My husband, thinking I was going to contact the police, […]
How Do You Disconnect?
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two We all know that it feels more intimate to be connected to the person (or people) we care about and love. Much less understood is how a couple who starts out with lots of love, erotic energy and hope—lose their close […]
Can I Love Two Men at The Same Time?
Dear Neil: I would be interested in your opinion of my romantically loving two people at the same time. I am very happily married with two children. I am also in love with a colleague at work. My husband is aware of my attraction to this other man, but because he feels threatened by it, […]
What To Do If You’re The “Other” Woman
Dear Neil: I am an avid reader of your column. I would like for you to address the flip side of infidelity—and discuss the “other” woman. She is not always an evil harlot looking for fun. I can speak from experience, since I have been on both sides. I was married and cheated on, and […]
The Signs of Abuse
Dear Neil: My husband and I have been having problems since I had my son. I became depressed after having my son two years ago. He began drinking heavily, saying that was the only way he could deal with me. He began pushing me on the floor regularly to get me back in line, and […]
For Women With Low Libido, Sex Is First a Decision, Not a Drive
Dear Neil: Your article about a woman’s loss of libido published in October suggested that testosterone treatment is the answer for reduced libido in women. Unfortunately testosterone is not available in New Zealand, and doctors cannot prescribe it. Could you raise this in your column in an effort to reverse the situation? Stymied in Wellington, […]
Re-igniting the Spark in Your Relationship
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: I’ve been married for eight years and have two children. While my husband was never a very demonstrative person in terms of passion or romance, over the past four years I’ve seen our passion go from a low score to almost zero. Sex […]
The Sexually Starved Woman
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. We all know that men have one-track minds. That lots of women are fearful of being too affectionate with their man for fear that he will interpret that affection as a sexual invitation. We all know that men desire as much sex as they can get, […]