Dear Neil: We are a retired couple who feel saddened and disappointed by our three grown-up children. They barely communicate with each other, and rarely remember birthdays, Christmas or each other’s children. On the rare occasion when we get together as a family, such as a wedding, the time is fraught with tension. I would […]
Ending A Relationship
Dear Neil: I’m having a great deal of trouble ending a relationship with my boyfriend of several years. I know it would be in my best interest to end things—the relationship will never go anywhere, partially because I don’t want a long-term relationship with him. Anyway, I’m aware that time is marching on and I’m […]
Being Thankful for What Your Relationship Offers You
It’s Thanksgiving again. Time to take notice of things we are truly grateful for. But while it is easy to be grateful in the abstract—for sun and rain and good food—often the place where it is the most difficult to practice is in our most intimate relationships. So many of us are (rightfully) grateful to […]
Stop Walking on Eggshells in Your Relationship (Part 2)
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Read part one and take the quiz If you are in a relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder traits, you may notice that your mate needs an infinite amount of attention, love or romance to make up for the self-love s/he lacks. But because borderlines think of […]
Quiz: Are You Walking on Eggshells in Your Relationship?
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Are you walking on eggshells a lot in your intimate relationship? If so, you may be bonded to someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder traits. Borderline Personality Disorder is what it sounds like it is: it’s a personality disorder. Take the […]
Try Something Different
Dear Neil: My boyfriend is reluctant to commit to a relationship with me. He would rather both of us date others and keep our options open. But I am now 25, and feel the desire to settle down and start a family. I am sure he loves me. So I tried harder by seducing him […]
Sexual “Secrets” Every Man Should Know
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: My marriage of 33 years has lost its sexual vitality. We are having occasional sex, but it’s no longer magical, or even special. Could address the question of what a man can do if he wants to infuse his marriage with a […]
Philandering Husband Compelled to Stray
Dear Neil: I’ve been married for 19 years and have three children. My husband has been unfaithful for most of our married life. I was going to divorce him four years ago, but he came chasing after me when he realized it wasn’t going to work with his flame. I took him back and stopped […]
Self-Esteem
Dear Neil: My self-esteem has not been very good recently. Exactly what is low self-esteem? Can I change my low self-esteem and make it higher by doing more things that feel good to me? Wanting More In Vancouver Dear Wanting More: When self-esteem is low, we tend to neglect our friends, family and colleagues—the people […]
Approach-Avoidance Behavior Seeks Safety and Protection
Dear Neil: I have been involved with a man for two years. After four months of intense dating and heavy pursuit on his part, he asked me to marry him. I said “yes,” believing this to be a whirlwind courtship and somewhat of a Cinderella fairytale. I was 34 years old and had never been […]