Anytime we go through a genuine crisis, our intimate relationships with other people—your spouse or sweetheart, children, family and friends—are affected. Whether those relationships help us through the crisis, or instead go down in flames depends on a host of factors, most of which are within our control. People in crisis find it difficult to […]
The recent articles printed in these pages about trauma and how people recover have generated dozens of readers writing in to share their stories of loss and their search for recovery. Some people are dealing with the loss of their home in one of the recent devastating fires, some may be injured—or have lost a […]
Dear Neil: After my husband and I have a disagreement, especially if voices have been raised, I get the silent treatment. It can last as long as two weeks. I used to cry and attempt to cajole him into communicating during those spells, but that only seemed to strengthen his resolve. So now I go […]
Dear Neil: How would you recommend I handle this? My wife of three months is chronically late. She was late to our wedding and late to our honeymoon (we missed our flight, but we were able to get a later flight). I’m one of these super-punctual people, and her persistent lateness is a strong irritation […]
Dear Neil: What is it about being married that takes all the erotic juice out of a relationship? I’ve been married twice, once for 15 years and the other for 20. I’ve noticed a gradual wearing down of romance that happened to both. The relationship starts out hot, romantic and loving—but work, stress, taking care […]
Let me invite you to think of the last time you filed your income tax returns. Did you write off your car repair as a business expense? Did your beach trip or your trip to Europe suddenly become a work-related conference? Did you claim that some of the alcohol you bought was really for a […]
Empathy is the ability to feel the emotions of someone else. It describes how well we identify with other people’s pain, fears, desires, feelings and experiences. It is the one trait that most links humans together. It makes me have compassion for what has befallen you, it allows you to feel excited by my success, […]
Dear Neil: My partner of five years has three children from his previous marriage. The eldest is his only daughter, and she is recently married and now has a son. Her mission, for our entire relationship, has been to split us up, just as she has split up his previous relationships since his divorce. She […]
Dear Neil: I am engaged to a wonderful, charming man. He is everything I want in a man: thoughtful, intelligent, funny, loving and handsome. We have been together over 4 years, and have seen each other through good times and bad. We have both been married and divorced previously, and we each have 3 children […]
Dear Neil: I need some advice. My wife recently ended a four month affair when I accidentally discovered that she had been stepping out on me. She has acknowledged wrong doing (she was caught, so she had no choice). She has said she loves and cares about me a great deal, says she will spend […]