Note: This is the third of a three-part series. Click here for part one Suppose your intimate partner said something that hurt your feelings and you retaliate with a cutting remark. You are angry and you try to think of the reasons why s/he was so hurtful to you. So you come up with a […]
Note: This is the second of a three-part series. Click here for part three Emotional intimacy is being open and revealing about what you feel and what you think. When you are emotionally intimate with someone, you allow that person inside your private emotional space by sharing your deepest emotions and your innermost thoughts. Many couples “make love” […]
Note: This is the first of a three-part series. Click here for part two When we think of intelligence, we usually think of doing well in school, getting good grades and generally being the equivalent of a rocket scientist. That is called intellectual intelligence, and we refer to it as IQ. But there is also social intelligence (SQ), […]
Dear Neil: What is wrong with women? My last several attempts at having an intimate relationship have all failed, largely because I keep encountering damaged women who push away having a close, intimate relationship with a man. One woman was recently raped and was afraid of getting close with a man. Another had a drinking […]
We all want variations of the same thing when we select someone to give ourselves to, to commit to, to marry or to live with. The problem, most people belatedly realize, is that no one is perfect, and that there are tradeoffs we are forced to accept no matter who we choose to be in […]
One of the important decisions people make about a potential intimate partner is forced on us very early on in a budding relationship. It’s about deciding whether to give the other person a chance, and how much we are willing to open ourselves up to him/her. Most people have had the experience of saying “yes” […]
Want your relationship to be closer? Want greater understanding and friendship with your lover? Want a deeper, more intimate connection with the man or woman you call yours, or want to someday call yours? Try this couple’s communication exercise, courtesy of Michael, Stanis and Senna Beck in their book 365 Questions for Couples (Adams Media Press). Take […]
Dear Neil: I have five grown children and have always been a loving and supportive parent. I call and visit when I have money for gas, but my children aren’t as poor as I am, and they seldom call me and hardly ever visit. I never ask for their help—I just want them to call […]
Dear Neil: A while back I grew close to a guy who was in a 10-year relationship with someone else. He always told me to be open to meeting someone else. So I met someone else. But things were complicated from the beginning, because he wants to become a catholic priest. He enjoys my company […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. When you are squabbling with your intimate partner over petty, small, nitpicky things, could you describe with confidence the hidden, more subterranean issues that you are fighting about? Most people can’t. Most people have, at best, an extremely vague idea about what pushes their buttons, or […]