Dear Neil: I have a daughter with my on-and-off-again boyfriend of three years. On one of our off times, he got another girl pregnant, and I am struggling with that. I have tried to be supportive, but it is hard because I feel so betrayed. It is the cause of most of our fights, and […]
Dear Neil: I am a 36 year old single woman who has never married. I have dated literally hundreds of men from all walks of life—from professionals, to artists, to ski bums, to doctors and to performers—and a whole lot of other men who don’t neatly fit into an easy category. But every man I’ve […]
Dear Neil: I have recently been involved with a 29 year old man. We got along really well. Although he doesn’t live in the same city as I do, he visited frequently, we talked on the phone every couple of days and we maintained something of a relationship over a couple of months. Suddenly, however, […]
Dear Neil: Regarding your recent column on the confusing message “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” does it matter that my husband of many years says he no longer loves me, but is still the same caring man he has always been? Don’t actions mean more than words? Puzzled in Wellington, […]
If you’ve ever had someone you love and care about say to you: “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” you will know how disorienting and puzzling it is to hear such words. But what about the person who says those words? If you have been thinking or verbalizing those words recently, […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend and I haven’t been together for very long. We fell in love very fast, and have suffered a miscarriage. Since then he has become more obsessed with his autonomy and having space, and he has been emotionally distant. He is yet to be divorced (he’s taking his time), and I found […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one The following are a continuation of the guidelines for how to decide which of your issues are deal breakers—and when you’d be better off leaving a relationship instead of staying in it: When you feel poorly treated. Poor treatment can come in many […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: You usually write about how people can stay together and work out their differences. But what about when it may not be in your self-interest to stay, or when you have an extremely unresponsive, uncaring or hurtful partner? Could […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one If you are caught between being in a relationship with two different people, and are attempting to choose which one you want to commit to, here are more questions which are designed to assist you in coming to a choice. These […]
Dear Neil: I have been dating a guy for four months. He has never been married. He’s 43 and I’m 42. He seems to be a taker, and it feels as if he wants a part-time girlfriend. He says he doesn’t want a mother, but sure is OK with me doing all of his domestic […]