Dear Neil: I am a 29-year-old man who has never had a serious relationship. Expressing my feelings for other people has never been one of my strong points. About six months ago, I became very good friends with a woman I work with. She is 42 and divorced, with two teenage children. She divorced four […]
Keeping Yourself Emotionally Detached
Dear Neil: I’ve been married for 17 years to a wonderful man. Last summer I discovered that my husband had had a secret E-mail correspondence for the last two years with his old girlfriend. She had left my husband 23 years ago, after they had a one year relationship. I believe that with work and […]
Too Close for Comfort
Dear Neil: The two year relationship I had with my girlfriend ended a few months ago. While at college, we were best friends and lovers. But after graduation, she decided to move back to her home town. It was then she began withdrawing emotionally and cutting herself off from me. She held all of her […]
Being Safe at the Expense of Being Happy
Dear Neil: Eight years ago I walked out on a very special man: my lover, best friend, protector and provider. It seemed the perfect relationship. Only now do I realize that he loved me unconditionally. Walking through Hyde Park, my reasons for leaving hit me in the face: I was so scared that one day […]
Don’t Settle For Poor Treatment From Husband
Escalating The Emotions in Your Marriage Dear Neil: My husband thinks that once every month or two is often enough for sex. He told me he was “getting older” (mid-40’s) and that it was normal for a man to lose interest at that age. I found out quite by accident that he hasn’t lost interest, […]
Overcoming Emotional Distance
Being More Emotionally Open and Available Dear Neil: I would appreciate very much if you would offer some recommendations on how I could overcome being emotionally distant. Distant in Oceanside, California Dear Distant: Here are several ideas: Examine your feelings about not feeling worthy of a close relationship; your fears that if your partner really gets […]
Disconnected and Detached
Do people accuse you of being cold or withdrawn? Are you detached from your relationships? When you are disconnected and detached from other people: Your work is your reason for living. It’s what really counts in your life. All of your spare time goes into projects related to your work, or your other interests and […]
Emotionally Unavailable
Being Involved With an Unavailable Partner is a Dead End “I am writing to you about the man I have been dating for over seven years. We are not engaged and there is no commitment on his part. We see each other only when it appears to be convenient for him,” writes Shirley of Janesville, […]
Choosing a “Challenge” for a Relationship
Dear Neil: Men who are sensitive to today’s issues do not come on boldly. These men—and they do exist—tend to wait in the background. Unfortunately, these are the same men that women claim that they are interested in. “Sally” left me for her old boyfriend. A man she twice arrested for assaulting her. He was […]