Dear Neil: Can you help me figure out why my girlfriend and I seem to fight a lot when we’re on holiday? We schedule time off, plan the holiday together, talk about it and look forward to it. But when we’re actually on the trip, she gets seriously touchy, reactive, jealous, critical, judgmental, impatient with […]
What Does Your Job Mean to You?
Dear Neil: Could you offer any guidance or assistance about how to evaluate my job and my career? I’m a computer software engineer. I’m paid moderately well and have good job security, but I’m not feeling all that fulfilled and/or satisfied with what I’m doing. How do I evaluate my job/career? Struggling in Longmont, Colorado […]
You Can’t Have a Good Relationship Alone
Dear Neil: I have loved a man like no other. But I didn’t listen to my gut as he became the Silent Dark Shadow, and I stayed, hoping for it to get better. We had a lovely son together, but when I realized how lonely I was—that it has always been me wanting us to […]
How Intimate Do You Want to Be?
On a scale from 1 (low) to 10 (high), choose a number that represents how much closeness you’re comfortable with in an intimate relationship. Many people are less than completely honest about this issue. They want closeness and intimacy, but not too much of it, not all the time and only in certain times and […]
Want to Succeed at a New Relationship? Try This!
Following is a partial set of recommendations in how to succeed in connecting, bonding and falling in love with someone new: Treat the search for a new love as an active—not a passive—process, and give it as much time, energy, attention and focus as you do every other high priority in your life. Treat it […]
How Do I Heal Losing My Husband?
Dear Neil: After losing my husband of 28 years, I started dating again eleven months later. The gentleman and I got close, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes. Then I went into grieving for my husband. It’s as if there was a physical drive to get together, but my heart put […]
Why is it So Hard to Find a New Love? Part 2
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Following is a continuation of the discussion of why people today have a hard time meeting, connecting, bonding and falling in love: Some men and women compare several potential partners against each other, and frequently wind up not being able to make up their minds. They […]
Why is it So Hard to Find a New Love? Part 1
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Following is a partial summary of why people today have a hard time meeting, connecting, bonding and falling in love: Think carefully. Out of a hundred single available potential partners, how many do you think you’ll be attracted to? Out of the ones you’re attracted to, […]
Drama Queens Are Demanding and Intense
Dear Neil: I feel like I am living in a soap opera. My girlfriend and I have lived together for the past six months. In that period of time, she has gotten pregnant, aborted, lost her job (she was accused of dressing inappropriately), threatened suicide, left me, came back, got in a car wreck and […]
Falling in Love Requires You Offering Your Heart
Dear Neil: In the past few years, I have had several different relationships with me that seem to follow the same pattern. The man is hot, and the relationship starts out with great interest, enthusiasm, hope, chemistry and passion. But after awhile, I seem to lose that enthusiasm and begin to notice a variety of […]