Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: Recently you wrote about co-dependency. For years I have thought of myself as co-dependent, but have been unable to change it. Could you review what co-dependency is—and offer ideas of what I can do about it? Interested in Changing […]
Dear Neil: I am in an abusive relationship with my husband. Recently he was taken to jail for domestic violence. He claimed he never touched me, and that I inflicted the bruises on myself. This finally pushed me to leave, but during that separation we started counseling. I have since returned home, and things for […]
Dear Neil: I’m confused. I get mixed signals from single women I’ve dated about what they want a man to be, and about what they expect from a man in an intimate relationship. Most women clearly want a man to be financially stable and affluent—in essence to pay for everything, and to offer the long […]
Dear Neil: My relationship with my boyfriend of almost two years has been wonderful. We moved to Colorado from the East Coast, and he started a new job and went back to school, both about three weeks ago. Since then, everything has changed. He went from being a sweet loving and compassionate person, to someone […]
A Valentine’s Primer Here are some of the essential challenges an intimate relationships asks of us. Master these skills, and you’re well on your way to having a Happy Valentine’s Day: Build and/or expand “us.” In every troubled relationship, there tends to be a small “us” and a large “you” or “I.” The goal, therefore, […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one This is a continuation of the soul-searching questions about how committed you are to your intimate partner or spouse: Do the two of you make joint decisions on major matters? Do you keep each other informed? Can your partner depend on […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two My wife and I have been married twenty five years, but every so often I talk about separating and/or divorcing because I am unhappy with our relationship and the way my wife acts. Does commitment waver for couples depending on the […]
Dear Neil: I have no real trust for anyone in my life and I never really have had trust for people. I grew up with no one to count on. My mother was verbally, mentally and physically abusive to me. I was always compared to other girls. I now work in a casino in Las […]
Note: This is the second of two-part series. Click here for part one The following is a continuation of ideas about how to deepen a relationship. Take turns talking together about your feelings, concerns, wishes and expectations regarding: How much effort do you expect each person to give to the relationship? How should it be […]
Dear Neil: How do I deepen my relationship with my boyfriend? We are in a four month relationship, and I am plagued by the feelings that this relationship is, in many regards, superficial. I don’t feel like I know him very well, and I don’t feel like we as a couple are building momentum for […]