Dear Neil: My wife of 25 years and I are both in our late fifties. We once had great emotional and physical intimacy, but now her desire for sex is non-existent. She constantly repels my advances—to such a degree that we now sleep in separate bedrooms. I find myself getting short-tempered, irritable and grumpy, which […]
Dear Neil: My partner of 14 years and I have recently separated—the catalyst being my discovery of her third affair in the last 8 years. In telling her how damaging her affairs have been to me—feelings of betrayal, hurt, anxiety and humiliation—I said an affair is about the most damaging thing you can do in […]
Dear Neil: In the past several months, I have lost my job, have been unsuccessful in getting another one—and my house is getting foreclosed upon. All of this has put tremendous strain on both our family and our relationship. I find myself having a hard time staying focused and being productive, largely because I feel […]
Dear Neil: I am a 69 year old successful, affluent business woman. My boyfriend of ten years is 55, and much less successful and affluent. He has twin daughters, age 21, who he dotes over and will do anything for. But they don’t want their father to have a girlfriend. He lives in my house […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Let’s argue for a moment that you have certain memories that won’t go away. These memories might be pleasant, disturbing, conflicted or erotic. They may be related to success, failure, embarrassment or about handling a situation poorly. The only truly common […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: Do you know what it means when someone has recurring—almost haunting—memories? There are a variety of mistakes I’ve made in my life, or faux pas, or decisions I’ve made that were either costly or embarrassing. Almost all of these […]
Dear Neil: I have been married for 32 years. My wife wants nothing to do with me, and for the past two years has been sleeping in another room. She gives me the silent treatment until I can’t stand it anymore. It’s been more than a year since we’ve had any intimacy or have even […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Let’s say it’s been years since you and your partner have talked meaningfully about what you liked, loved, admired, respected or found attractive about each other. If that’s the case—or close to it—we can assume that, although the two of you […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: I am in my late 70’s and have been married 45 years. My wife and I have raised three children, have helped raised four grandchildren, went bankrupt, grew a successful business, and paid off our house. We have endured […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one If you are codependent, you likely grew up with or had prolonged exposure to a set of oppressive rules which prevented the open expression of feelings, and which taught you to be conflict avoidant. You very likely are a caretaker, you’re […]