Dear Neil: Three years ago, I got married after a short courtship. There were a few early signals that all was not well. I paid off all his debts, bought him things and moved him into my home. He contributed nothing financially, and didn’t help with the running of the home, and he wasn’t putting […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend of 7 months moved to another country for work, and I agreed to follow him as soon as possible. But for most of our relationship, I have been pushing him away, criticizing him and not giving him enough space—and I get needy as well. In the meantime, he has grown withdrawn […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend was blessed with very good looks, and he knew how to be charming, and I was falling in love. He confessed to me that he has been fickle in his previous relationships and that he invests as little of himself as possible. But he also told me that if I did […]
Dear Neil: I have been with the same man for over 25 years. We have raised a family and made a life together. He tells me all the time how beautiful I am, and we are affectionate with each other. I love him deeply, and am sure he loves me—but I feel like the give-and-take […]
Dear Neil: For years I have struggled with being defensive. For a long time, I didn’t actually understand that I was acting defensively. But my defensiveness turns out to be at the root of my problems with my boyfriend. It seems that most of this behavior stems from my wanting to be perfect. I have […]
Dear Neil: I caught my husband telling another woman on the phone that she is beautiful. They work together. When confronted, he told me she recently split with her husband, and that he was consoling her. I have been suspicious for the past year, but when I brought it up he would brush me off. […]
Dear Neil: For 3 years I have been involved with a lady on-line. We have talked about living together, and I am seeking to relocate in order to be with her. Yet she keeps getting with local guys. It’s as if she will fall for anyone who whispers in her ear. Why would she do […]
Dear Neil: Several weeks ago, you wrote about a husband in New Zealand who has been unfaithful to his wife for decades. He said he couldn’t help himself from straying, seeing prostitutes and watching porn. You advised him to look at why he feels so empty, offer his wife a truthful description of his behavior […]
Dear Neil: I have been married to my second wife for almost 15 years. We have two boys, ages 10 and 8. I am 58 and my wife is 45. I was married to my first wife for 22 years, and have three children with her. I have been unfaithful to both my first and […]
Dear Neil: I’ve been involved with a man for the past several months who seems to have trouble sustaining erotic arousal with me. I’m 25 and still a virgin. He’s 31 and experienced. We have an amazingly intense emotional connection. I know he finds me physically attractive and thinks very highly of me, and yet […]