Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Want to control your impulse to criticize or complain about your intimate partner? More importantly, would you be interested in having your partner consistently meet more of your needs, wants and desires? Try making a behavior change request, which is far more likely than complaining, criticizing […]
How Do I Get My Boyfriend Back?
Dear Neil: I am 26 years-old and for the first time in my life I have felt true love with another. But he has broken up with me and left me an emotional and financial train wreck of a mess. The problem is that he compared me to his ex, and accused me of doing […]
Adoptee’s Struggle For Intimacy
Dear Neil: I am a 40 year-old man, adopted by a depressed and lonely Mom and an emotionally absent, abusive Dad. I have had self esteem issues my whole life, trouble with feeling worthy of love and petrified of being abandoned. I have a strong need to live in a close, trusting relationship, but I […]
What Happened to My Marriage?
Dear Neil: Please help me understand what happened to my marriage. In the beginning of our relationship, we were so close with each other: we spent huge amount of time talking, going to movies and new restaurants, traveling, sharing hopes and dreams, romancing each other, continually making love. We were always affectionate—touching each other, holding […]
Craving Intimacy – But Rejecting It When Offered
Dear Neil: I don’t understand why a man who said he was searching for a love relationship rejected it when it was offered to him. He said I was his best friend, easy to get along with, comfortable to be around, responsive, warm, affectionate, hot, romantic and sexy. He said I was everything he was […]
Dealing With People Who Act Entitled
Dear Neil: I read an article written by you about entitlement. I am wondering if you have some specific, defined actions one can take in dealing with entitled people. I work with two of them, no less, and I dread it, as any little thing that goes wrong can turn into a major problem. When […]
Enforce Boundaries on Unhealthy Grandmother
Dear Neil: I am living with my boyfriend, and we just had our first baby six months ago. I am happy with my boyfriend in the sense that he is very financially responsible, but there’s a problem with his parents. His father is an alcoholic and his mother is controlling, pushy and overly critical. She […]
Why Aren’t Men Checking Me Out?
Dear Neil: Is there something that makes men attracted to women? Why is it that my best friend is hit on all the time (even as she gains a little weight), but I don’t get hit on at all. I am shy, and I just don’t have it in me to talk to a random […]
Readers Respond to Advice on Forgiving Sexual Assualt
Dear Neil: I was surprised to read that you advised a woman who said that her husband had sexually assaulted her once, years ago, to work on forgiving her husband and losing her resentment. Like all the responsibility is hers. How about advising her to call the police? Wellington, New Zealand Dear Neil: I am […]
Abundance
Are you trapped in the treadmill of always striving for more? More love, more money, more clothes, better car, nicer house, nicer furniture, more recognition, more appreciation, more validation? More respect? Not that you shouldn’t strive for being the best and having the best, mind you, but have you noticed what such striving does to […]