Imagine the following scenario: Someone close to you gets in an accident and winds up with a broken nose. Her nose healed, but she remains fearful of being seen in public. She says her nose doesn’t look right, and she doesn’t want anyone to see her, so she stays home virtually all the time. You’re […]
How Do I Stop Pushing My Boyfriend Away?
Dear Neil: I am hoping that you can help me get a grip on my inability to trust—before I push away my boyfriend once and for all. It seems as though I conjure up reasons to fear that he is not devoted to me, and then I become extremely anxious, panicky and explosive. So anxious, […]
Hidden Issues Often Destroy Relationships
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Are you fighting a lot about small petty things? Is the anger or reactivity in your relationship seemingly out of proportion to the issue or conflict that began your fight? Are either of you getting worked up over seemingly small issues, gestures or slights? If so, […]
What Can You Do if Someone Says They Want to Break Up?
Dear Neil: I have been in the most wonderful, loving relationship for the past two years. We connected shortly after her marriage dissolved. I have never been so much in love or so happy. I respect her, I adore her and I cherish her beyond belief. The bond and connection we made was amazing. But […]
How Depression Effects Your Relationship
Ever been depressed? Ever been in a relationship with someone who is depressed? If so, did you find yourself at a loss to know what to do? Did your relationship get battered in the process ? Depression strains relationships. A depressed person is likely to be morose, pessimistic, cynical, hopeless, sad, lonely, tired, fatigued and […]
Quiz: How Comfortable Are You With Yourself?
The following quiz is designed to measure how comfortable you are with yourself. To take the quiz, answer the following questions honestly: I envy others a lot. __ Like me __Unlike me I’m happy in my life. __ Like me __Unlike me I have a lot of noise inside my head. I can’t stop thinking […]
Creating a Conscious Relationship
Have you ever wondered why some couples, over time, remain warm, connected, affectionate and close to each other, while so many other couples flounder? Want to learn their secret? Many factors go into creating a happy, long-term relationship: effective communication, the ability to resolve differences so that both partners feel valued and honored, affection, endearments, […]
The Way Around Somebody’s Defenses
Dear Neil: I am so frustrated with my husband that I’m thinking of separating from him. I don’t believe in divorce, but I’m not sure I can tolerate living with him anymore. Anything that even hints at me telling him I’m upset with him, that I don’t like something he has said or done—or, heaven […]
What Do I Do When My Boyfriend is Very Friendly With His Ex?
Dear Neil: My boyfriend (not live-in) is very friendly with his ex. They have had an off-and-on intimate relationship over the last 20 years. She sometimes comes to see him in the evening unannounced—cooks him dinner and stays late into the night. This seems disrespectful to me. The trouble is, he asked me if I […]
Man Asks: “Do Platonic Female Friends Threaten a Relationship?”
Dear Neil: What is the best way for a man in a new relationship to manage old platonic female friends of the opposite sex? I have just made a major blunder and destroyed my new lady’s trust by taking an old platonic female friend to a movie when my lady could not attend. I was […]