Dear Neil: I am a 25 year-old divorced mother. My boyfriend and I recently moved to the same neighborhood to be close to each other, but ever since then he has gotten moodier and more distant.. This has made me increasingly panicky about our relationship, and when I question him about his motivation for space, […]
Tips For Couples In Trouble
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be romantic. A day for lovers. A day set aside to wine and dine, woo, seduce and celebrate the one person you’re closest to. But reality doesn’t always work as smoothly as it’s supposed to, and sometimes couples have nasty arguments, blow-out fights, withdraw from each other, withhold sex and/or […]
What Can You Do If You Love a Narcissist?
Note: This is the second of a three part series. People who fall in love with a narcissist sometimes look to take care of others more than they look to take care of themselves. Anyone who has ever had a relationship with a narcissist knows how easy it is to become the person giving and […]
Loving a Narcissist Leaves You Asking “What About Me?”
Note: This is the first of a three part series. In successful relationships, people find ways to compromise and work out differences. Ideally, each person will be able to satisfy some of his/her needs and whims at least part of the time. Often we can accommodate and support another person’s priorities without doing damage to […]
Emotional Affairs
Dear Neil: I have just discovered that my wife of two years has had what she is calling “an affair of the heart” with someone else. She assures me that they haven’t sexually consummated the relationship, and says she doesn’t love him, but says they have grown very close and emotionally intimate. She says that […]
When Trust is a Relationship Issue
Dear Neil: I am currently trying to salvage my relationship with my girlfriend of four years. I have caused a lot of hurt to her (drinking related), but for the last seven months I have been trying to show her that all of the bad things are gone. She says she can’t go back. I […]
Forgiving Your Parents and Making Peace With The Past
Note: This is second of a two-part series. We have this notion that our parents were born as adults. Frequently, people believe their parents were in charge of themselves when they had children, that their parents knew what they were doing—and that however they behaved around their children, they did so intentionally. If you harbor […]
How Childhood Impacts Intimacy in Adulthood
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: My ex-husband was emotionally unavailable. After 20 years of marriage, I called it quits. But he has also been emotionally unavailable to our children. Will this affect their intimate relationships? And will this get passed on to their children? Doubly Hurt in Wellington, New […]
What Can You Do if Your Partner Has a Low Sex Drive?
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Do you want sex more than your intimate partner does? Is the lack of sex—or the infrequency of sex—driving you up a wall, so to speak? If so, and if especially if she’s female, your partner might believe in her heart of hearts that the only […]
Should I Keep My Boyfriend or Leave Him?
Dear Neil: I’m having much difficulty in believing my sick significant other. When we dated, he told me all about his past problems with drugs and alcohol. I was given to understand that he’d been in recovery for years. He moved in with me last year, and I immediately learned he was using pain killers […]