Dear Neil: As a follow-up to your recent columns on how to deepen a new relationship, what would you advise if my fiancée and I have a sharp divergence of style or an important difference of opinion? I grew up in a caring and loving household, and I crave greater levels of closeness, intimacy and […]
How to deepen a new relationship (Part 2)
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one The following questions and topics are designed to help you in deepening the connection and closeness of a new relationship. These questions must be done with a co-participant who is open and honest and wants a closer, more intimate relationship – […]
Deepening the connection in a new relationship
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Most people find the meeting, dating, getting-to-know-you stage of a relationship awkward and uncomfortable. Even though there is the potential for romance, sex, love and “happily ever after” – or maybe because there is that potential – people ranging in age […]
Few marriages are able to survive ongoing infidelity
Dear Nell: My husband tells me that his sexual drives are so hot-wired that he doesn’t know if he can have sex with only one woman. He suggested we have an open relationship – and I agreed – but seeing him intimate with this other woman took away all that I thought was special about […]
What is eating at grumpy husband?
Dear Neil: Over the years, my husband has gotten increasingly negative and grumpy, and I am finding it harder to cope with him. I get no positive comments, and he tends to say something negative about everything. As a self-protection, I have begun to harden myself when he comes home; and I snap at him. […]
Improving Your Self-Esteem
Following is a continuation of a list of personal strengths, courtesy of Martin Seligman in the book Authentic Happiness (Free Press). Look at this list and decide what your strongest strengths are – not strengths that you sometimes have, but strengths that actually define the authentic you. Using these strengths every day in work, parenting […]
Divorce is a series of behaviors, not a disease
Dear Neil: I was abused sexually, emotionally and physically as a child. Subsequently, I messed up two good relationships, and now I feel that no one would want me. I seem to get everything wrong with other people, and I end up feeling isolated, alone, betrayed, abused and confused. I pretend it’s sort of OK, […]
What Failed Relationships Teach Us
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. This is a continuation of the questions designed to assist you in learning the lessons from a relationship ending. These questions come from Karen Kahn Wilson in her book Transformational Divorce (New Harbinger Publications): How did you handle the differences between you and your ex? Differences […]
What You Can Learn From a Relationship That Ends
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: I am ending a 25 year marriage with a man I have spent my entire adult life with. I wanted to be a stay at home Mom, but because he couldn’t keep a job, I had to work most of those years. I have […]
Choosing A Mate in the Second Half of Life (Part 2)
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one The following is a continuation of how to choose a mate in the second half of life—and how to decide whom not to choose: How emotionally open is your romantic partner? Relationships require us to open up and actually reveal ourselves. […]







