Dear Neil: Would you write about abusive relationships and how to avoid them? Concerned in Denver Dear Concerned: Here are some of the key early warning signs of an abuser: Possessiveness and jealousy. Does your partner demand that the two of you go everywhere together, and that you should not be alone, interact with other […]
Dear Neil: I read your articles in a local newspaper. In my religion, pre-marital sex is not allowed. So how do I determine who to choose as the right person for me to marry? Wanting to Know in South Africa Dear South Africa: Here are some ways to evaluate who would be a suitable partner […]
Dear Neil: I’ve heard many people in recent years talk about bipolar disorder. They say that they have a child who is bipolar, or a husband, or a boss. I have never exactly understood what bipolar is. Can you explain what it means to be bipolar? Thinking I Might Be in Kansas City Dear Kansas […]
People who are happy seem to understand that happiness is not just about doing things you like, or doing what you’re good at, or doing things that give you pleasure. True happiness sometimes requires us to grow, to stretch our limits, to try new things, to seek out new adventures, and to be open to […]
We don’t usually examine how we could be happier. We tend to look at how we can experience more pleasure. So we lust for a nicer car, a bigger home, flashier jewelry, more fashionable clothes, more entertainment, a bigger TV and more expensive toys, to name a few. If you were willing to pay close […]
Dear Neil: I have been talking with and texting a guy for a year, but he is always too busy to meet. He says he loves me, but we haven’t met face to face yet. Can you help me? Waiting and Waiting Dear Waiting: Learn this lesson now, so you won’t ever make this mistake […]
Dear Neil: Three years ago, I got married after a short courtship. There were a few early signals that all was not well. I paid off all his debts, bought him things and moved him into my home. He contributed nothing financially, and didn’t help with the running of the home, and he wasn’t putting […]
Dear Neil: Could you settle a disagreement between me and my wife? I want to save more money, and she wants us to take a vacation and spend our extra money. I grew up learning that is was important to always save for a rainy day, but she says we haven’t gone anywhere in 3 […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend of 7 months moved to another country for work, and I agreed to follow him as soon as possible. But for most of our relationship, I have been pushing him away, criticizing him and not giving him enough space—and I get needy as well. In the meantime, he has grown withdrawn […]
In 1995, Daniel Goleman came out with his groundbreaking book Emotional Intelligence. In it he listed five character traits and competencies that are at the heart of being emotionally intelligent. They are: knowing one’s emotions, managing your emotions effectively, motivating yourself, recognizing the emotions of others and handling relationships with others well. Abbreviated EQ (emotional […]