Ways In Which We Emotionally “Exit” Our Relationships In which ways do you emotionally “exit” your intimate relationship? An “exit” is a way of preventing or avoiding closeness and connection by acting out a feeling rather than talking about it. For example, you may watch TV to avoid making love because you are hurt or […]
Making a Commitment Isn’t Easy but it is Rewarding
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Here are more ideas on how you can overcome the fear of commitment: Know yourself and recognize the pattern about how you behave in relationships. Know whether you actively run from commitment, or if you choose unavailable or inappropriate partners. Know the point in any relationship […]
How to Overcome Fear of Commitment
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: Recently you wrote about the fear of commitment. Could you also address how to overcome that fear? I am in a nine-year relationship, and I can’t seem to take the plunge and marry. Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated. Fearing Commitment in […]
What’s Draining You?
Have you ever noticed what happens when you keep pursuing a business that refuses to succeed? When you hang onto items that a represent a failed relationship or old financial problems, or piles of things to do or things to file that you never get to? These items are huge energy drains that can keep […]
Keeping Your Spirits Up When You’re Feeling Vulnerable and Fearful
Dear Readers: In light of the recent New York City and Washington D.C. terrorist attacks, millions of people are experiencing pain, fear, threat and an alarmingly heightened sense of vulnerability. If you have those emotions, here are a variety of things you can do to keep your spirits high and your fear lower: Stay with […]
Being Emotionally Intelligent is About Mastering People Skills
Dear Neil: I am a high school senior, straight “A” student, and I consistently test very high on IQ scores. But I am struggling socially—with girls and with other guys. Girls don’t seem to like me, and guys avoid me and think I’m “nerdy.” How can I excel so well academically and still feel so […]
Criticism Can Carrode Your Relationship
NOTE: THIS IS THE 2ND OF A TWO-PART SERIES Few couples can completely avoid criticizing each other now and then, even in healthy marriages. The trouble begins if you feel that your complaints go unheeded, and your spouse just repeats the offending habits. Or, perhaps you never clearly expressed your concerns, or you don’t express […]
Quiz: How Critical Are You?
Note: This is the first of a three-part series. Dear Neil: My boyfriend accuses me of being a critical person. I admit I complain from time to time about things that bother or disturb me about him, but I don’t think that I am that critical of him overall. Is there a way to tell […]
Want to Love Again?
The More Love You Give The More “In Love” You Will Feel Dear Neil: I have gone through a series of relationships with women where I just don’t feel the emotions I’d like to feel about them. Either the chemistry is wrong (and therefore I am not much into it), or she has children (I […]
Owning Your Shadow
NOTE: THIS IS THE SECOND OF A TWO-PART SERIES Consider the following scenario: you have unexpected houseguests that stay longer than their welcome, and leave a big mess, and some broken furniture. If you don’t do something to acknowledge and clear out the negative energy that your guests generate in you, you will be far […]