Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Do you know someone who is hard to love? Someone you care about who is extremely irresponsible, hateful, dishonest, criminal, substance addicted, out of control, who takes unfair advantage of other people or who has overwhelming long-term problems that make it difficult for him/her to handle […]
Dear Neil: Given that you are a marriage and family therapist, I am surprised that you seem to know so little about post-menopausal women. Western post-menopausal women—due to stressful lives, bad diet and lack of exercise—end up with endocrine degeneration, which in turn leads to a significant loss of sexual urge. Foreplay doesn’t work, and […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Let’s say you’re 50 years of age or older. And let’s also say that you’re single and dating, or about to be single and interested in dating again. And finally, let’s also say that you’re unsure about how to evaluate and […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: I am 55, and find myself single all over again. Trying to find a relationship is radically different than it was when I was in my 20s. I want to remarry, but it’s harder to date at this age, […]
Let’s say you were looking to love someone—or to love someone more fully. What would you do to achieve that goal? Pamper her with jewelry? Compliment him? Romance her more? Spend more time together? Bring her flowers? Seduce him? Well, not exactly. Not that those behaviors wouldn’t be appreciated, but rather those behaviors are only […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Even lawyers aren’t always adversarial. Many lawyers will acknowledge that a successful negotiation allows both sides to walk away from the table feeling content with the outcome. But all too often, couples who can’t resolve their differences approach each other like bad lawyers. They argue their […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. What sets you off? Are there predictable landmines that trigger fights, arguments or angry outbursts—in your intimate relationship, with your children or with other close people to you? Here are a list of hot-button issues and emotional triggers, many of which come from Ellen Wachtel in […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend confuses me. He can get very sharp with me: critical, judgment and easy to anger when offended. At times, he gets irritated and very critical at what feels to me like minor infractions, and he can get quite verbally hard on me for making even a small mistake. So why does […]
The Only Connection Skill You Are Likely to Need Dear Neil: Can you help me repair my relationship? The lady in my life and I have lost the ability to be close with each other. Here’s how a typical conversation between us goes: Me: “How was your day?” Her: “I’m annoyed. I feel like I’m […]
Dear Neil: We have been fighting about money issues for years. We argued about money when we were doing very well, and we’re fighting about money now, when we’re not. We disagree on how money is to be spent, what our financial priorities are, how to handle it when we disagree about a purchase and […]